Grocery Guide

The Great Debate: Hershey Krackel v. Nestle Crunch

The upcoming presidential election has gotten me into the mood for debate, and rather than argue about shit I know very little about (e.g., the efficacy of the stimulus package), I would like to engage with the American people on an issue very close to my heart: the supremacy of Krackel over Crunch. By the way, I'm talking candy bars, not sound effects.

For the sake of full disclosure, I should tell you that I was born approximately half an hour from Hershey, Pennsylvania, and as a child spent a significant amount of time at its eponymous theme park, candy factory, chocolate museum, etc. I'm as close as you can come to being born and bred a Hershey's fan.

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Not to say, however, I don't recognize the merits, even the occasional superiority of, Nestle confections. Kit Kat is one of the best candy bars ever designed, and those morsels come through like no other chocolate chips when I make cookies.

But Hershey Krackel is better than Nestle Crunch [end stop]. And though no two candies are exactly the same, I won't accept any excuse that I'm engaging in apples-to-oranges comparison. These two were designed to compete and in any competition there is a winner. In this case, that winner is Krackel.

A list of reasons why, for your itemized viewing pleasure:

1. Krackel infuses sweet milk chocolate with many fresh krispies. Crunch speckles waxy fake-flavored chocolate with slightly soggy rice cereal. 2. Krackel is thin but strong and can withstand a hearty first bite. Crunch, if it isn't already crumbled when you open the package, cracks quickly under pressure. 3. Krackel remains ever true to the original pure formula. Crunch has succumbed to the temptation of cheap variations.

The worst decision Hershey ever made was to limit production of Krackel to fun-size. Here's hoping the corporate bigwigs read this post and realize the error of their ways.

Readers, I know Krackel is the right choice, but if you disagree, please amuse me with your reasons.

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