Bar Beat

Houston's 10 Best Bathrooms to Bang In

"It's a list of bathrooms to fuck in, not Homer's Odyssey. Don't go overthinking it."

My girlfriend hurled this sage wisdom at me earlier this week as I planned my trek to nearly two dozen bars I visited to compile this list. If nothing else, I am sure the Greek poet would respect my legwork.

This list was built by polling service-industry veterans, bar patrons and a slutty-looking girl I saw sitting out front of Boondocks (her emphatic answer was "Fuck off!" by the way; I couldn't find that bar on Yelp, however). We rated bars and their washrooms on ambience, ease of entry and egress, feasibility -- sorry, Grand Prize, but one person can't fit in your stalls alone, much less two -- and overall sex appeal.

Our list of the ten best bathrooms to have a shag in is as follows: