As a vinyl nerd, Rocks Off has been reduced to childlike, almost feral, giddiness by the mere entry into a record store or, God help us, a record convention. There's something about the round multi-colored spinning things that gets our motor running.
Now a company in England, And Vinyly, has created the ultimate way for people like us who are obsessed with vinyl to live on after we shuffle off this mortal dirt turntable.
For a fee, the outfit will press your cremated remains into LP form and let you put on the disc whatever you prefer, be it your own music, that of others, or plain silence. Hopefully, your ashes will make cool crackles and pops.
For about $3,000 American, AV will make 30 LPs, complete with artwork. Sadly, you can only put 12 minutes of audio on each side.
They can also supply instrumental music for you as well, but what's the fun in that when you can put your favorite music down on wax instead? Generic studio rock or the Stooges? We already have our mind made up.
On the site, they also note that for an additional fee an artist will create a picture of you for the cover using paints and your ashes. None of your ashes will go to waste if you play your morbid cards right. The company also has a package where they will help host a party in your honor with your vinyl being played in the background.
In case you somehow lose a limb, you can send in those ashes too, but they will not discount the initial charge. It's easier and more economical for your whole body to die. And yes, to answer your next question, they do accept animal cremains.
