Screwston, Texas

Turning the Screw: T-Pain & Friends, Pimp C, Asher Roth, Kanye vs. Colbert, Q-Tip, Suge Knight, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Young Jeezy, Paul Wall and More

Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to [email protected]. Thanks, homies.


Single of the Week: "Chopped and Screwed" Lil' O, T-Pain and Ludacris

Wire To Wire

Matt Sonzala et al. paid tribute to the late Pimp C last week on KPFT's "Damage Control." If you didn't hear it, download it here. As Mr. Sonzala is fond of saying, "It went down, mayne."

Arrest warrant issued for DMX. In related news, water is wet, fire hot.

"If Jason Bourne was to record and join forces with Zack Morris they'd form my performance." We would like to amend our previous statement that Asher Roth is a superdoucher. He's not. Download his free mixtape here.

Video of Stephen Colbert, addressing The Kanye's claim that he's the voice of this generation, with this doozy: "With all the auto-tuning on your records, you're barely the voice of your own albums." OOH! Face! Operation Humble Kanye is in effect.

Party Arty of the Ghetto Dwellas passed away. Damn.

Notorious soundtrack will have three previously unreleased Biggie tracks. We suppose there's one reason to see it now.

This should do wonders for Weezy's lack of confidence: eight nods from the Grammys.

Busta Rhymes' "Arab Money" has been getting people in trouble. Good thing he never released his incendiary club banger "I H8 Jews," feat. A-Hit.

Kanye West obviously read our review of Q-Tip's latest album; agrees it's great. We were wrong in assertion, however, that 'Ye wants to be Jesus. That's still 50 percent, though.

Suge Knight's mansion was sold. We send our condolences out to him with a hearty, "Ha ha." Shouldn't have dangled Vanilla Ice off the edge of that building by his ankles, punk. (We know that story's just a myth, but it works for the joke, so whatever.)

Luis Santana would like to put his hands in Chris Brown and Rihanna's pockets, suing them for $1 million. We wish there was an "Evil Laugh" button on keyboards, we would've hit it right before we typed "$1 million."

Bone Thugs got together last week as an entire unit to perform together. Because of the whole in-fighting and break-up and whatnot they've gone through, this is a noteworthy event, but really it's just an excuse for us to post "First of Da Month." No kidding, this song actually made us feel good about being on welfare growing up.

Don't get him wrong, Young Jeezy is happy for Obama and all, but that was only a minor victory on the way to electing - get ready for it - Jim Martin.

Jennifer Hudson's brother-in-law to be charged with the murders of her mother, brother and nephew.

Fitty would like to mention that he too has lost money in the economy. We're sad for him. That means he only netted $147 million last year. We hope he likes beef Ramen noodles.

Jermaine Dupri receiving the ACLU's Bill of Rights Award. Clearly, this is attributed to Dupri's work on Paul Wall's "I'm Throwed." And can someone please tell us why in damn near everything Paul Wall raps he likens himself to something? And we mean, he's actually using the phrase "I'm [something] like [something]." For example, in only the first verse of this song, Mr. Wall informs us that he's:

"Leanin' like a gas gauge

Freestylin' like hairbraids

Crawlin' down like fire ants

Posted like a stamp

Flyer than a mockingbird"

Many more similes in the following verses, we presume. We can't be sure, though - we were too busy trying not to throw up.

If you go to a Webbie concert, you will either be stabbed or shot. That is a certainty.

Three Pointers

Three CDs out this week you otherwise never would have heard of (but are available on nonetheless):

Gorilla Zoe, Lost

Jadakiss, Kiss My Ass

Jim Jones, Capo - Shea Serrano