Lotus Effect Reacts To HPMA Win Rather... Dramatically

Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to [email protected].

Here's part of a email we received about two weeks ago, verbatim:

"This is Dremaceo with Lotus Effect and we wanted to throw in our lot for artist of the week. We were extremely fortunate to win the Houston Press Music Award for Best Rock, but our goal all along when we first formed as a band was to be Artist of the Week and then commit mass suicide. Which is why we've only submitted ourselves once before, we really weren't ready until now."

If you use the phrase "mass suicide" anywhere in your request to be selected as Artist of the Week, you automatically get the nod. It's called the Mass Suicide Clause. Duh.

It also doesn't hurt if your music is unquestionably good and heartfelt, with it once having been described as being "What Muse once was, and now only pretends to be." That's called the Muse Sucks Now Clause, by the way. So we linked up with the Lotus gents to talk about gay porn, winning HPMA Best Rock and getting drunk and tearing your apartment to bits.

Rocks Off: You know what's cool? What's cool is that picture of y'all's heads where it's the all-white background. It looks like something that'd be on a flyer trying to convince people to join a cult. Or try gay porn. Excellent.

Lotus Effect: Yeah, you know, we had a couple of white medical gowns lying around from Gabe's last stint at a mental health facility and we were like, "Who are we to let good medical gowns go to waste?" And that's not the first time we've heard the gay porn reference, which is why our bassist Jason Malley generally begins all his conversations that he has never been in gay porn.

RO [laughs]: You guys won Best Rock. We assume that you guys have spent the last two weeks sending messages online to the bands that you beat about how much better you are than them. That's what we do with the Chronicle every day, anyway.

Lotus Effect, "Warhol"

Lotus Effect, "Warhol"

LE: No, actually, we spent a lot of time staring in the mirror with our instruments posing with our trophy. It was really cool to win, though. We put in tons of hard work and are proud of the music we've put out, but at the same time there are so many deserving bands. We consider the entire Houston music scene one big family, and in our hearts we share this award, but it's staying on our mantle, though.