Ladies Who Lust

SAT 9/18

For most guys, erotic literature means the sticky Penthouse letters page. But more popular among the ladies is the classier "erotica." The latter will be examined in Urban Aphrodite: The Exploration of Erotica by Women, the latest installment of theatrical readings from dAdA Productions. "In pornography, there's a visceral connection between your eyes and your genitals. Imagination is rarely involved," says director Ann James, who is obviously not male. "With erotica, the mind plays a crucial role in the development of feeling and connection to what you're seeing or hearing." The evening will include readings covering 2,600 years of women's steamy thoughts put to pen by writers such as Sappho, Anaïs Nin, Anne Rice and even local lusty ladies. "All of the pieces are written by women, and they cross all lines of desire, preference and scenario," James adds. Also included are a "roving" historical lingerie show, and even a performance of erotic shadow puppetry. "The creation of the piece will be organic," says James, "and it will be a onetime 'raw experience' for our guests." 7 p.m. Saturday, September 18. M Bar, 802 Main. For information, call 713-426-3531 or visit $10. -- Bob Ruggiero

Drink Bar's Lacy O

As Saturday nights in the restaurant biz go, it was a bitch. Or rather, the mother of the bride was a bitch. Damn rehearsal dinners. When the other waiters and cooks and I finally got off work, we headed to Drink Bar (3718 Main, 713-522-9985). By then my blood -- like my thirst for alcohol -- was boiling like an offshore gusher. I gobbled up several jelly-bean shots; the river of beer was another sideshow altogether. And then, a fatal mistake: I started throwing back Lacy Os, the drink made up by the stunning bartender Lacy. Within an hour, I'd mastered my favorite dance -- the drunken shuffle (a variation of the conventional country row dance). It didn't take long before someone escorted a few of us to the door. The next few hours were a blur. Somehow, my car was driven home, and two of my friends managed to drag me upstairs to my apartment, where they ditched my left-for-dead body and continued the party without me. The next morning, I managed to piece it all together. As I followed a trail of broken lamps and empty champagne bottles, I soberly began to recall my undignified behavior. I stumbled into the shower only to find an empty wine bottle had replaced my shampoo jug.

2 ounces Bacardi O rum
1-1/2 ounces Dole pineapple-orange juice
Splash of soda water

In an old-fashioned glass filled with ice, measure out rum and juice. Top off with soda. Best enjoyed after consuming a river of alcohol and before handing over the keys. -- J.W. Crooker

Get Crafty

SAT 9/18

The word "craft" conjures images of second-grade art teachers in overalls and houses made of popsicle sticks -- definitely not stylish nightlife. This Saturday, the Houston Center for Contemporary Craft celebrates its third birthday as a mecca for wood turners, glass blowers, bead makers and even those fluent in the ways of the popsicle stick. DJ Mike Snow spins as guests enjoy "craftinis" and food from local restaurants, a "not-so-silent" auction and, of course, a craft: Make your own martini glass. (Remember: craft first, craftini later). 8 p.m. Saturday, September 18. 4848 Main. For information, call 713-529-4848 or visit $40 to $50. -- Julia Ramey


FRI 9/17

Remember the lyrics of that famous "Irish Drinking Song" ("We'll drink and drink and drink and drink...we'll fight and fight and fight and fight...)? Clearly, the Irish don't play around when it comes to their liquor. So we didn't bother asking why Slainte Irish Pub is hosting a "Halfway to St. Patrick's Day Bash." We just know that there'll be music, hourly "car bomb special" shots and drink specials. Discounts on grub start at 3:17 p.m. (St. Patty's Day -- get it?) The pub also promises lots of beads. We're not sure what you have to do to get them, but we're guessing some Irish eyes will be smiling. 11 a.m. Friday, September 17. 509 Main. For information, call 713-222-1033 or visit Free. -- Steven Devadanam