How Many Texans Own Guns? A Whole Freakin' Lot, Poll Shows

Hey, we all know Texans like their guns. We just didn't realize how much they love them. (Well, to be honest, we did if we gave it much thought, but we hadn't, and now there's new evidence showing it.)

For most of those interested, the key finding of the new University of Texas / Texas Tribune poll was either Rick Perry's semi-solid standing among Texas voters, or a finding that those polled support criminal and mental-health background checks on people buying guns.

(Frankly, if you ask a question that basically consists of "should hardened criminals and the mentally handicapped have easy access to powerful weapons?", you're probably going to find a lot of support for background checks.)

Deeper into the poll was a basic question: Do you or a family member own a gun?

Answer: Hells to the yes.

Nearly half of the 1,200 Texas voters polled, or a member of the polled person's family, own at least one gun, results showed.

That's a lot of gun owners.

The pollsters then asked further questions of the 44 percent who fell into the gun-owning categories, and things got even more interesting.

According to the poll, 19 percent of the gun owners had just a single gun....but single guns are for wimps. If you're going to be a gun owner, then be a gun owner: 44 percent owned from two to five guns.

Twenty percent -- one in five Texan gun owners -- packed more than five guns. Most ominously of all, 17 percent of those polled answered "prefer not to say." We assume that last group also has an impressive collection of beans, jugs of water and many non-perishable foods.

Why do they own (so, so many) guns? The poll showed 44 percent cited "protection" and 19 percent hunting or sport shooting. Fair enough.

But let's do some extrapolating. There were 13,646,226 Texans who voted in 2012.

The poll says 44 percent of Texas voters, or a family member, own a gun -- that would be a little over six million people. (Yikes.)

Of that 44 percent, two percent -- a little over 120,000 Texans -- said the reason they own a gun is "Second Amendment right," to quote the poll exactly.

One hundred twenty thousand Texans own a gun simply to make a constitutional point?

Texas, our Texas, all hail the mighty state.

(Note: All advanced math skills learned from Sr. Agnes Mary, a nun universally known as "Crazy Aggie," so don't blame me for mistakes.)

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