Miss Pop Rocks: Surprise, Surprise, The Hills Is as Fake as Heidi’s Breasts

Does anyone have any idea how I could make myself stop watching MTV’s twentysomething reality show, The Hills? Watching it only makes me feel older, fatter, and poorer than I probably have a right to feel, and now we come to discover it’s fake. So now I feel stupider, too. Actually, I felt stupid watching it even when I thought it was real, so whatever.

To catch some of you up to speed…in a recent episode, LC went out with a super cute model named Gavin. Hills fans like me spotted the fact that while the show made it look like Lauren got home from the date and immediately called her sometime sweetie Brody, the fact that her nail polish magically disappeared the minute she walked into the house suggested the timeline was totally manipulated.

Our suspicions were confirmed when VH1’s Best Week Ever caught up with the real Gavin. I absolutely love how snarky and tell-all he gets in the interview. Despite his inside peek, I have to admit I’m probably still gonna end up watching the show. Sigh. I need help.

In more reporting from The Hills front, I pray that you have been able to catch a glimpse of the couple we love to despise, Heidi and Spencer, shooting a music video for Heidi’s upcoming album. It’s sweet schadenfreude as we watch the twosome attempt to make the magic happen on a California beach. They apparently have such a limited budget that Spencer is the only camera guy and they use a cheap boombox to project sound.

So sad/hilarious to watch Heidi try to splash around on the surf making the same hand gestures over and over again. The late Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity she is not! Make sure you watch the clip until the bitter end, so you can spot a fisherman mindin’ his own right next to Heidi and Spencer, totally unaware of the nightmarish scene happening right next to him. Lovin’ it! – Jennifer Mathieu