"Lost" Is Just a Big Old Tease, But I Love Her, and I Can’t Wait for Her Season Finale Tonight

If “Lost” were a girl, she’d be that girl who always lets you get to second base and then keeps her knees pressed firmly together even after you’ve told her she’s got eyes that are like the windows to her soul or some crap like that. If “Lost” were a guy, he’d be that dude you meet at a party who spends hours talking with you and flirting with you, acts completely bemused and delighted by everything you’re saying, says he’s gonna call you…and never does.

“Lost” is just a big old tease, but like a bad relationship, I can’t get away. I can’t break up with “Lost.”

Okay, enough with the damn dating metaphors already.

For anyone who cares, you already know that the season four finale of “Lost” is on tonight, and if you’re anything like me, you totally cannot wait. For you lame-ohs who gave up on the show midway through season two or three because “nothing was happening” or “it just got too confusing” or because of Nikki and Paulo, forget you. You’re weak and this post isn’t meant for you anyway. (Not to bring up the dating metaphor again, but the whole Nikki/Paulo thing was like the bumpy patch all relationships go through once the sex gets old and you’ve heard your significant other’s story about the “hilarious” night when he peed in a New York City cab or whatever five times too many. But that’s no reason to break up with someone!)

Why do we love “Lost”? Maybe we watch because the dialogue can be pretty witty and some of the actors are kinda fine. Maybe because spending hour after hour on www.lostpedia.com seems like a productive way to delay cleaning the bathroom or paying bills. Maybe we love the show because following the intricate plotlines actually makes us feel like we’re getting smarter. Or perhaps it’s because of the weird connections we make with near strangers/fellow fans as we trade theories. (I work with a woman who I know absolutely nothing about other than the fact that she watches “Lost.” We discuss nothing else. Nothing at all but “Lost.” But were it not for the show, I would have never gotten to talk to her at all. And who knows, maybe someday we’ll talk about something more, and I’ll really end up getting along with her and we’ll become lifelong friends, and it’ll all be because of “Lost.” And even if we don’t become lifelong friends, who cares? She’s someone else to talk about “Lost” with!)

Or maybe we drop everything we’re doing to watch Hurley, Kate, Jack, and the rest of that doomed lot (or are they doomed?) cavort all over the island and through time and space because, as my friend Jason put it, “We want to be on that island. We want our lives to matter that much.” Yeah, it could definitely go that deep for some of us.

Whatever the reason we’re addicted, one thing is certain. In May 2010, “Lost” is scheduled to end for good. The creators have said that having an end date in sight has tightened the plot lines and injected a new energy into the series, and any fan knows that’s true. But I fear the show’s finale because, like all good teases, the best part comes not in the delivery, but in the build up, the flirting, the potential promise of what’s to come. When she gives in, she’s never as good in bed as you’d hoped she’d be. When he calls, he’s never as funny or as charming as he seemed at the party. The joy of “Lost” comes in the not knowing. In the wondering. In the possibilities. Whatever mysterious, complex answers are hidden inside, the revelation of what it all means will never be as delicious as what it all could mean. And that’s why I don’t mind “Lost” teasing me for so damn long.

Don’t get me wrong though. I still want to know what the Hell is up with the four-toed statue we saw back in season one. – Jennifer Mathieu