GOP Senate Candidate Ted Cruz, In Fact, Rich As Sh*t

Last week, after it came out that Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst is worth an astonishing $177 million and would become the third-richest member of the U.S. Senate if elected to a body that has at least 54 millionaires, there was one word local media employed to describe his competitor Ted Cruz's financial worth: "modest."

Okay people, reality check. There's nothing modest about Ted Cruz, not his anti-compromise conservative orthodoxy, not his financials, and not his chin -- which seems to have receded into his neck. Last week, the Houston Chronicle reported he's worth roughly $1.5 million and his 2011 income clocked in at between $1.8 million and $1.9 million. His Philadelphia-based law firm, Morgan, Lewis & Bockius, where he's a partner, pays him $1.75 million in salary.

Modest, this ain't. Sure, perhaps compared to Dewhurst. But he conjured his riches in the energy industry riding his Falcon Seaboard Diversified Energy and Investments Co., which he founded in the mid-1980s and is worth nearly twice as much as Jeremy Lin's three-year contract if he comes to Houston. But let's be serious. In real terms, Cruz is ballin'. According to the 2010 U.S. Census, nearly 17 percent of Texans live below the poverty line, the cutoff of which is $22,300 for a four-member family or $11,100 for a one-person household.

Cruz, meanwhile, is four times wealthier than the ordinary member of the in the 1 percent. They make on average $344,000 per year and, in the process, have captured 24 percent of national income. In 2010, they gobbled up 93 percent of economic growth.

But in the U.S. Senate? Cruz, who will face Dewhurst in a runoff election on July 31, is barely living in the black, and possesses but a "modest portfolio." What a chump! And he calls himself a Republican. Really, he should be embarrassed. Only $1.75 million a year, Ted? Mitt Romney would never take you out on his yacht, "Bain Or Death."