Screwston, Texas

Dallas Trolls Say Their Hip-Hop Is Better Than Houston's

Oh, Dallas.

I respect you as a city, your hold on your (deceased) J.R. Ewing and Dallas Cowboys — Dez Caught It! — and rather unique flair for being the bourgeois, snooty brother in that Texas music trinity Houston shares with that hippie we all visit once a goddamn year in March.

However, as much as I respect you for attempting to beat your chest and proclaim that you have a better hip-hop scene than Houston, allow big brother "swamp city covered in fog" (what are we, the fucking Blue Lagoon to you?) to knock some sense into you. You don't. You haven't. You're trolling in the best possible way: to elicit a response.