Holidays are stressful because we feel emotionally obligated to create memories. Memories create themselves. Sometimes the best ones are when something goes wrong. My husband's family still laughs about the year their giant black labrador broke through the window screen and ate what remained of their Thanksgiving turkey. No leftovers for turkey sandwiches that year, but a funny story. One Christmas, my husband found me beating the stove with a wooden spoon and cursing like a sailor because my cheesecake was dripping in the oven. Not a pleasant memory for me, but it's one that he finds entertaining. And likes to tell, over and over, and over. And while we all love a deliciously roasted turkey, the time Grammy D forgot to take the neck bone and giblets out beforehand made it a much more memorable experience. So lose the idea of perfect and flow with the successes and inevitable failures that a holiday meal brings. After all, these are your nearest and dearest that you are hosting. They're not here to judge. Except for Uncle Bruce's third wife, Betty. She's a tart.
Make Ahead/Do Ahead
You know you plan to do this. You say you're going to make everything ahead that can be, but it never happens. Well, this year, let's go for the gold in preparation. For me, it's getting the pastry done and the meats chopped up for the Ham Pie (more about that later). And I swear I am getting the cheesecake done the night before so that I am not beating the stove Easter morning. And I won't be foiled by a bottle of red wine the night before, either. I will make the Spinach Bread prior to midnight. And clean the house. I suggest attacking the mess the week before. If you have a guest bathroom, clean it and put a Keep Out sign on the door. I am not saying the house needs to be spic and span, but clutter will only add to the stress. If you are making a coconut Peeps cake, a pizza
My holiday hosting gigs got so much easier when I finally caved in to letting other people shine on my stage. This is not an intimate dinner for your six classiest friends whom you are trying to impress. With my posse, we can have upwards of 20 people. That's a lot of food. While I love to cook and make my mark on whatever holiday we're celebrating, I have some great cooks in my circle of Peeps (it's Easter, I had to). My friend brings her yummy appetizers (usually something with bacon because she knows what the menfolk like), my mom brings her perfectly cooked ham and pecan-crusted sweet potatoes, and my brother, Cowboy Clint, is no longer allowed to come to Easter dinner without his smoked brisket. The first time he made it was his downfall. It was too damn good not to become a tradition. Not to play to stereotypes, but we women tend to bear the brunt of the holiday cooking, no matter how far we've come, baby. For years my three brothers have been content to show up at every family gathering empty-handed and ready to fill their gullets. Well, no more. You want Mom's ambrosia and my cheesecake, you bring the brisket, little bro. Now, if I could just teach my husband how to make the Italian ham pie.
I cringe when I hear stories of people having to suffer through Tofurkey or quinoa nut loaf because their vegan sister-in-law insisted on hosting the holiday meal. I have nothing against veganism. The consumption of meat can be a thorny issue, but the holidays are not a time to test out some new cuisine on your family and friends. Sure, a new dish would be welcomed and maybe a twist on some of the standards would be fine, but don't go crazy. You can experiment another time. Holidays bring out the nostalgia in all of us. Ever since my mother-in-law passed away, I have taken on the job of making the family dishes she once made. It's a link to this spitfire of a woman we loved. On Christmas Eve, it's manicotti. Or, as the Connecticut Italians corrected me — "
I also inherited the job of continuing the Spinach Bread legacy. It's a simple assembly job, basically, but it's craved by not only my husband and his
Enjoy Your People
This is, above all, the most important tip. There's a reason we spend time and energy making special holiday meals for our loved ones. Feasting connects us, whether it's a Passover Seder, the evening feasts during Ramadan, the gluttony of Mardi Gras or a Fourth of July picnic. Family and friends gathered together to break bread bring joy to our lives. We are drawn to the table, not just for food but for connection to other human beings. Spring is a time of renewal, so if we let go of the judgment, the past hurts, the political and religious differences, we can celebrate with our tribe and build closer relationships around the holiday table. Maybe Uncle Bruce's new wife, Betty, is a tart, but she probably has some interesting stories to tell.