The Pyramid

The Pyramid, a slasher film set in a previously undiscovered pharaoh's tomb, is exclusively populated by whiny narcissists, like fame-hungry reporter Sunni (Christa Nicola) and stuffy know-it-all Holden (American Horror Story's Denis O'Hare), and their obnoxious companions, whiny cameraman Fitzie (James Buckley) and pouty researcher Nora (Ashley Hinshaw). These putrid meat-puppet protagonists are most bearable when they're defined by circumstantial perils, like air poisoning, cannibal sphinx cats, and a hulking undead monster.

But while these boors are supposed to be obnoxious, their generically oblivious behavior and tin-ear dialogue makes them even more hatefully annoying than they should be. Whenever the meat puppets aren't fighting for their lives, they're either laboriously describing their surroundings — Holden deciphers hieroglyphs that explain Egyptian god Osiris "weighed [human] souls, and only pure hearts passed on to the afterlife" — or monotonously carrying on, like whenever Fitzie repeatedly begs his colleagues, "Can we please focus on getting the hell out of here?"

Worse still, the film's nausea-inducing handheld photography makes it impossible to enjoy watching Holden's loathsome group get dispatched by falling debris and sickly-looking monsters. The Pyramid should be nasty fun, but its creators aren't creative enough to be effectively ghoulish.
Cast information not available at this time.

The Pyramid is not showing in any theaters in the area.

  • By Film...

    By Theater...