Rick Perry Loves America So Much He Contemplates Destroying It

"We've got a great union. There is absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what may come out of that?" Perry said at a Tea Party rally April 15, 2009.

Rick Perry Wants to Beat Up the Fed Chairman

"If this guy prints more money between now and the election. I don't know what y'all would do to him in Iowa, but we -- we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas. Printing more money to play politics at this particular time in American history is almost treacherous -- or treasonous in my opinion," he said in Iowa on August 15, 2011.

Rick Perry Is A Hip Social Media Dude

"You can always follow me on Tweeter," he told a bloggers convention June 21, 2011
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Rick Perry Thinks God Is An Inept Oil-Rig Worker

"From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented," he said about the Deepwater Horizon oil spill.
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Rick Perry Thinks Gay People Are Like Alcoholics

"Even if an alcoholic is powerless over alcohol once it enters his body, he still makes a choice to drink. And, even if someone is attracted to a person of the same sex, he or she still makes a choice to engage in sexual activity with someone of the same gender," he said in his first book, On My Honor.
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Rick Perry Thinks He's A Tough Guy Because He Shot An Animal

"Texans, on the other hand, elect folks like me - you know the type, the kind of guy who goes jogging in the morning packing a Ruger .380 with laser sights, loaded with hollow point bullets, and shoots a coyote that is threatening his daughter's dog," he wrote in Fed Up.
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Rick Perry Has No Idea What Scientists Are Saying About Climate Change

"I think we're seeing it almost weekly or even daily, scientists who are coming forward and questioning the original idea that man-made global warming is what is causing the climate to change. Yes, our climates change. They've been changing ever since the earth was formed. But I do not buy into, that a group of scientists, who in some cases were found to be manipulating this data," he said August 17, 2011, earning four "pinocchios" from the Washington Post's Fact Checker

Rick Perry Does Not Like Tough Interview Questions

"Adios, MoFo," he said after being grilled by KTRK's Ted Oberg in 2005

Rick Perry Has No Idea How Texas' Justice System Works

"No, sir, I've never struggled with that at all," Perry said when asked September 7, 2011 whether any of the 234 executions he had approved bothered him, despite strong evidence -- some of which he has fought furiously to conceal -- that innocent men have been victims of capital punishment.

Rick Perry Thinks Religion Should Be Taught In Public Schools

"I am a firm believer in intelligent design as a matter of faith and intellect, and I believe it should be presented in schools alongside the theories of evolution." he has said.

Rick Perry Believes Being A Texan Means Being A Right-Wing Blowhard

Among the people Perry has declared to be "Honorary Texans": Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity
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Rick Perry Has No Idea What An "Emergency" Is

Among the things he declared to be "emergency" items in the most recent legislative session: Mandatory sonograms for women seeking abortions, requiring picture ID to vote, and a bill telling the U.S. to adopt a balanced-budget amendment.
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Rick Perry Thinks he's A Biblical Prophet

When asked by an interviewer why he wasn't exactly popular in Texas, Perry answered "I say that a prophet is generally not loved in their hometown. That's both Biblical and practical." Read more here...

Rick Perry Doesn't Understand Galileo

He defended doing nothing about climate change because he said some scientists disagreed whether it existed and "just because you have a group of scientists that have stood up and said here is the fact, Galileo got outvoted for a spell." Yes, he got outvoted by "scientists" who didn't believe the earth rotated around the sun.

Rick Perry Thinks Being A Tourist Makes Him A Policy Expert

When the right-wing was having its puffed-up outrage over President Obama's plan for peace in the Middle East, Perry said "As someone who has visited Israel numerous times, I know that that it is impracticable to revert to the 1967 lines."

Rick Perry's Not Sure Who's Fighting For Freedom

In an interview on Today, Perry said of George W. Bush: "Bush did an incredible job, during his presidency, defending us from freedom."

Rick Perry Is Not Sure If He's Fine With Gay Marriage

One day he said "Our friends in New York six weeks ago passed a statute that said marriage can be between two people of the same sex. You know what? That's New York, and that's their business, and that's fine with me." Very soon after he changed that to "Obviously gay marriage is not fine with me."

Rick Perry Pines For The Time When Legislators, Not Voters, Chose Senators

He told the Daily Beast: "The 17th Amendment is one of those where they were making... the states were historically more in control when they decided who those senators were going to be. They took the states out of the process at that particular point in time. So that's the... uh... the historic concept of checks and balances, when you had the concept of the federal government and the states. The 17th Amendment is when the states started getting out of balance with the federal government, is my belief."

Rick Perry is incredibly confused about what's causing problems in the Middle East

"For three years, the Middle East has heard a wavering and aimless foreign policy and they’ve seen it all too often out of this White House, apologizing for America, apologizing for America’s exceptionalism. I think that message has been the driving factor in the instability in the Middle East."

Rick Perry's BBQ taste buds are questionable

Sure, there's state pride involved. But after he tasted some North Carolina barbecue in 1992, Perry said "I've had road kill that tasted better than that."

Rick Perry has a shaky understanding of aviation

From the September 22 debate, on border security: "The idea that you are going to build a wall, a fence for 1,200 miles, and then go 800 miles more to Tijuana, does not make sense. You put the boots on the ground. We know how to make this work. You put the boots on the ground. You put the aviation assets in the ground."

Rick Perry can't even deliver what should be well-prepared lines in a debate

September 22: "I think Americans just don't know sometimes which Mitt Romney they're dealing with. Is it the Mitt Romney that was on the side of against the Second Amendment before he was for the Second Amendment? Was it — was before he was before the social programs, from the standpoint of he was for standing up for Roe v. Wade before he was against Roe v. Wade? He was for Race to the Top, he's for Obamacare, and now he's against it. I mean, we'll wait until tomorrow and — and — and see which Mitt Romney we're really talking to tonight."

Rick Perry Doesn't Know What Century the American Revolution Took Place In

He told some Dartmouth frat boys October 11: "Our Founding Fathers never meant for Washington, D.C. to be the fount of all wisdom. As a matter of fact, they were very much afraid of that because they'd just had this experience with this far-away government that had centralized thought-process and planning and what you have you. And then it was actually the reason that we fought the [American] Revolution in the 16th century - was to get away from that kind of onerous crown, if you will."

Rick Perry doesn't know satire:

In a New Hampshire speech, he quoted a satirical item as if it was fact, despite the outlandish ridiculousness of it. "I don't know if it can be proved up or not. The young man's name was Jeremy and he was 38 years old. But he said, ‘We got here at 9 o'clock, and those people, this was in Toronto, I think Bay Street is their comparable [Wall Street], he said those bankers that we came to insult, they'd already been at work for two hours when we got here at 9 o'clock, and when we get ready to leave, you know, they're still in there working. I guess greed just makes you work hard."

Rick Perry thinks people bury gold in their backyards

In a famously slurry speech in New Hampshire, Perry urged people to give gold to the woman who was taking his campaign contributions. "Gold is good. If you've got any in the backyard, cuz, you know, if they print anymore money over there in Washington, the gold's gonna be good. And she will take it. She will take it!"

Rick Perry has trouble remembering key parts of his platform

The signature moment of his campaign, the November 9 debate, as reported in the Washington Post: "I will tell you, it is three agencies of government when I get there that are gone. Commerce, Education, and the — what's the third one there? Let's see… The third agency of government I would — I would do away with, Education, the…," Perry continued to try and find his answer. "Commerce," an unknown voice volunteered, according to the debate transcript. "Commerce and, let's see," Perry answered. "I can't. The third one, I can't. Sorry. Oops."

Rick Perry Thinks 18-Year-Olds Can't Vote, And He Doesn't Know When Election Day Is

In a New Hampshire speech, Perry said "Those of you that will be 21 by November the 12th, I ask for your support and your vote. Those of you who won't be, just work hard, because you are going to inherit this and you're counting on us to get this right." Since Election Day is always the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November, "the 12th" is pretty far out of the realm of possibility.

Rick Perry Thinks There's A Country Called Solynda

"No greater example of it than this administration sending millions of dollars into the solar industry, and we lost that money. I want to say it was over $500 million that went to the country Solynda."

Rick Perry has no idea what the size of the federal budget is.

On December 17, Perry told an Iowa crowd he would "cut $5 trillion out of Obama's budget." http://caucuses.desmoinesregister.com/2011/12/17/rick-perry-says-hes-going-cut-obama%E2%80%99s-5-trillion-budget-problem-is-its-only-3-7-trillion/ President Obama's proposed total budget is $3.7 trillion.

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