Note: In a new holiday tradition, Rocks Off would like to re-present to our readers this 2011 blog of the blackest Christmas songs we would find.

Dude, religious Christmas is pretty macabre. All kinds of scandal, sex with a ghost, strangers bringing mystical gifts, and everyone predicting this young couple’s baby’s death like its glorious wonderful thing. Oh and a decree to slaughter all male babies the next day… what could be more goth?”

— Kassi Gooch

Far be it from us to argue with Kassi. Some people say that depression rates go up during the holidays, and they’re wrong. It’s just that incidents of goth occur more frequently. So for your listening pleasure we’ve put together a special playlist so that Santa knows to drop off some boots and stuff with ankhs on it this year. A little black tape for a blue Christmas, if you catch our drift.

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10. Nightmare Before Christmas, “Making Christmas” Sorry, it’s clichรฉ, but all goths love this movie and for many it’s the gateway drug into spookiness anyway. It would just be weird to neglect a track from the Burton classic film.

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9. Nox Arcana, “Coventry Carol” Most of the really traditional carols really are kind of creepy when you take a look at them. Think of Nox Aracana as a kind of goth Trans-Siberian Orchestra. This rendition of “Coventry Carol” haunts beautifully.

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8. Alien Sex Fiend, “Stuff the Turkey” Rocks Off: Hey! Alien Sex Fiend has a gothic Christmas song called “Stuff the Turkey”!
Wife With One F: Isn’t that more of a Thanksgiving song?
Rocks Off: It walks the line.

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7. Cruxshadows, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” Cruxshadows has grown on us since we heard their song “Wake the White Queen” on Where’s Neil When You Need Him? They really do one of our favorite John Lennon tunes justice here.

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6. The Kinks, “Father Christmas” We officially drafted the Kinks into goth when we included them in our Bela Lugosi tribute, so we don’t want to hear any argument.

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5. Cosmicity, “This Is Your Crappy Christmas Present” Then again, not everyone gets into the Christmas spirit. On other hand, no one’s ever put techno in our stocking, and we would really like some.

List continues on the next page.

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4. H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society, “Do You Fear What I Fear?” What would Gothmas be without a visit from the Cthulhu Mythos? The H. P, Lovecraft Historical Society doesn’t do anything that isn’t brilliant, and Old One carols are no different.

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3. Type O Negative, “Red Water (Christmas Mourning)” Damnit, Peter, why did you have to go? No one will ever define goth metal like Type O Negative did, and murder on Christmas is just one of the many delights they offered. We miss you, dude!

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2. Porn Orchard, “The Holiday Season” Have you ever wondered what a Christmas special starring Tom Waits and Peter Murphy would be like? No? Just us? Well, you’re going to listen to it anyway.

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1. Eva O, “O Holy Night” We couldn’t let you go out on a funny note. It doesn’t get any better than “O Holy Night.”

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.