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10 Songs We Never, Ever Want to Hear Again, Ever

"Gangnam Style," Psy I'm not going to deny it. The first time I saw the video for "Gangnam Style," I was amused, but not enough to watch it again. The only problem with that was the fact that almost every American decided to either recreate "Gangnam Style" or share videos of other idiots dancing around like Ashlee Simpson when she started to lip-sync to the wrong song on Saturday Night Live.

I'd be fine if I never had to hear "Gangnam Style" ever again. Lucky for me, Psy "retired" the song after he performed it for New Year's Eve 2013, but not before he did that pistachio commercial. Damn him. ALYSSA DUPREE

"Hotel California," The Eagles Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away (about 1,200 miles north in Minneapolis, Minnesota) I used to make some sweet-ass mix tapes for my 1990 Dodge Shadow. "Mo-Mixin' Volume 1" was filled with several classic-rock hits, including what is arguably the best-known song by Henley and co. My point of this story is this: once long ago, I actually enjoyed "Hotel California" and would listen to it by choice. Something about the mysterious lyrics and vibe always made me think of the bar scene in the King/Kubrick classic The Shining.

That was until I heard "Hotel California" every day for the next 15 years. At this point, when this song comes on the radio, I have a violent Pavlovian reaction to smack the buttons on the stereo before I get the chance to voyage down a dark desert highway or feel cool wind in my hair. This, of course, does not account for all the times I hear it at the grocery store, gas station, dentist office, restaurants... "Hotel California" is a great example of what happens when a perfectly good song is totally killed by overplay. As much as I once liked it, I could honestly go the rest of my life without ever hearing it again and be totally okay with it. SELENA DIERINGER

"I Love It," Icona Pop This 2013 hit has now been beaten to death with a hammer, and at this point, I don't care, I hate it. I didn't like it the first time it came on the radio, I didn't like it the following time, and I won't like it in a year. I do not like it in a box, I do not like it with a fox. Not here, not there, not anywhere.

Their voices aren't terrible, and I guess the song is catch in theory, but it's just so vapid that I can't bother with it. It's being pushed as a summer anthem, but surely there are better options. Also, what's with the radio bleeping the word "bitch?" If I've got to be terrorized with that song, at least say the word bitch to make it worth it. ANGELICA LEICHT

Snow Patrol - "Chasing Cars"

There are really only two reasons you'd never want to hear a song again: either you think it's genuinely awful (hi Crazy Town, sorry you didn't go three for three on lists of things I hate) or it brings back some sort of awkward/uncomfortable memory.

So allow me to be the guy who overshares and says that hearing this track reminds me of a girl, and even though I'm over it I really don't like having to think about the situation any more than necessary. Even though I like the song, I'd be perfectly fine never hearing it again.

But I mean, "Butterfly" is still pretty awful. CORY GARCIA

List continues on the next page.

"Karma Chameleon," Culture Club If I never heard Culture Club's "Karma Chameleon" again in my life, I'd be a very happy guy. Before I was of legal age to man the wheel of an automobile, my sister would always have to take me to school. With it being her car, and with her knowledge of my aversion to the '80s cult tune, she would play it as loud as she possibly could as we drove in to the parking lot of our high school.

Think about something you hate, then think about having to go through it every single day of your life for two years. Puts you in a pretty good mood to start the day, I'll tell you what. Now, any time I hear the song, all I can do is cringe. Fuck you Boy George for ruining so many days of my life. JIM BRICKER

"Radar Love," Golden Earring For some reason I'll never understand or accept, Houston classic-rock radio station 93.7 The Arrow has played Golden Earring's "Radar Love" every hour or so for as long as I can fucking remember. It's a grating, overblown turd of a song stuffed with horns and guitars whose meaning is still unclear to me after 8,000 listens, and it drones on and on for more than six minutes.

Every time it inevitably hits the airwaves, it makes me hate the entire radio frequency spectrum, and I'd consider voting for a convicted child murderer if he pledged to ban it forever. NATHAN SMITH

"Sweet Home Alabama," Lynyrd Skynyrd Some of my Texas friends call me Yankee. I find this extremely funny, as I have never really fashioned myself as such. Maybe in part because I really love a lot of Southern Rock. One exception to this love? "Sweet Home Alabama." Every time I hear this song, it harkens back memories of really stupid drunk chicks poorly singing on Ladies Night/Karaoke Night at a now-defunct college bar that I frequented long ago.

While the memories of those nights will always be some of my favorites, the inescapable sound of all the wanna-be Greek girls shrieking lyrics they don't understand could be conveniently lost in my brainflaps forever and I'd be more than fine with it. Thank you, girls who ALWAYS sing in a group, for ruining this song for me forever. SELENA DIERINGER

List continues on the next page.

"Whoomp! (There It Is)," Tag Team Ironically, the idea here is a song I'd never want to hear again, but here I am listening to "Whoomp! (There It Is)" for the purposes of writing this. I've listened to it three times and I'm still in a state of bemusement. I just can't understand how this became a hit so ubiquitous that Tag Team did multiple remixes for it, including an Addams Family version, a Donald Duck version, and a Houston Rockets version.

The bassline and percussion sounds like someone took a shit on an old Casio. The gang yelling chorus reminds me of the abominable noise of drunken sports bar patrons whose home team just scored. Plus, if you really pay attention, those MIDI presets are almost the same as "Who Let the Dogs Out?," which is even more astounding in that two of the worst songs of all time were wrung out of essentially the same beat. COREY DEITERMAN

"True," Spandau Ballet You know how couples will actually have "a song," that tune that supposedly captures their undying devotion to one another? That's the one I never want to hear again.

It's Spandau Ballet's "True," and when we were too young to know better, my wife and I declared this our song. She agrees with me today that this song blows like Larry King on birthday cake candles. We've hated it for years, but when those fools in that Chevy Malibu commercial showed us how dumb we must have once looked, singing it like dorks, we despised it even more.

Sadly, anyone who's ever found out this was once our song now holds it against us. Our friends facetiously sing it at us and once we even got a mix tape that was 60 minutes of nothing but "True." Haha. Very funny, motherfuckers. JESSE SENDEJAS JR.

"Yellow Ledbetter," Pearl Jam I never, ever want to hear "Yellow Ledbetter" by Pearl Jam ever again. Firstly, because it's probably their worst song. The more they try to directly invoke the blues, the more they sound like Stevie Ray Vaughan and therefore suck. Secondly, back around 1993-94 when radio stations first started playing it, KLOL, KRBE, and The Buzz (then The Rocket) all played it virtually every third song. One of the most ridiculously overplayed songs there has ever been. JOHN SEABORN GRAY


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