"Whoomp! (There It Is)," Tag Team Ironically, the idea here is a song I'd never want to hear again, but here I am listening to "Whoomp! (There It Is)" for the purposes of writing this. I've listened to it three times and I'm still in a state of bemusement. I just can't understand how this became a hit so ubiquitous that Tag Team did multiple remixes for it, including an Addams Family version, a Donald Duck version, and a Houston Rockets version.

The bassline and percussion sounds like someone took a shit on an old Casio. The gang yelling chorus reminds me of the abominable noise of drunken sports bar patrons whose home team just scored. Plus, if you really pay attention, those MIDI presets are almost the same as "Who Let the Dogs Out?," which is even more astounding in that two of the worst songs of all time were wrung out of essentially the same beat. COREY DEITERMAN

"True," Spandau Ballet You know how couples will actually have "a song," that tune that supposedly captures their undying devotion to one another? That's the one I never want to hear again.

It's Spandau Ballet's "True," and when we were too young to know better, my wife and I declared this our song. She agrees with me today that this song blows like Larry King on birthday cake candles. We've hated it for years, but when those fools in that Chevy Malibu commercial showed us how dumb we must have once looked, singing it like dorks, we despised it even more.

Sadly, anyone who's ever found out this was once our song now holds it against us. Our friends facetiously sing it at us and once we even got a mix tape that was 60 minutes of nothing but "True." Haha. Very funny, motherfuckers. JESSE SENDEJAS JR.

"Yellow Ledbetter," Pearl Jam I never, ever want to hear "Yellow Ledbetter" by Pearl Jam ever again. Firstly, because it's probably their worst song. The more they try to directly invoke the blues, the more they sound like Stevie Ray Vaughan and therefore suck. Secondly, back around 1993-94 when radio stations first started playing it, KLOL, KRBE, and The Buzz (then The Rocket) all played it virtually every third song. One of the most ridiculously overplayed songs there has ever been. JOHN SEABORN GRAY

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