30 Seconds With Bob Schneider

Rocks Off sat down with Bob Schneider to see what we could learn about the popular Austin singer-songwriter in 30 seconds.

Rocks Off: What is the worst song in the world?

Bob Schneider: Obviously this is a personal preference issue. That's one of the amazing things about music. How personal it is. A piece of music may ring all the right bells for me and I'll be so moved by it and then play it for a friend and because they are looking for a specific set of criteria that that particular piece might not have, they won't get it at all.

I love, love, love the B-52's, for example, and one of my friends thinks that their music is the worst music ever written. Go figure.

RO: What is the best lyric in the world?

BS: Again, a personal preference. I do like so much of Paul Simon's lyrics and it's really hard to top Tom Waits. I guess the song that always brings tears to my eyes when I hear it is a Pogues song called, "Fairytale of New York' about a guy who wakes up in a drunk tank in New York City on Christmas day and sings this duet with his sweetheart towards the end of the song:

Him: I could have been someone

Her: Well so could anyone. You took my dreams from me when I first found you.

Him: I kept them with me babe. I put them with my own.

Can't make it all alone I've built my dreams around you

RO: Someone throws a beer bottle at you. What do you do?

BS: Well, hopefully you duck in time so that it doesn't hit you. Either way you immediately have them kicked out of the club. You let the bouncers know exactly what happened. They'll usually get the point across, in their own sweet bouncer way, that that is probably not the best idea in the world.

I've actually had this happen to me before and the bottle knocked me out for a second. When i came to the guy was gone. Granted, that was years ago when I was in a rock/rap band and that was sort of par for the course. Not many bottles thrown at the shows I'm doing nowadays.

RO: Without worrying about time, space or physical laws, what would be the ultimate gig?

BS: The ultimate gig would be playing Giants Stadium (or any stadium for that matter) and selling it out.

RO: What will you buy with your first million dollars?

BS: I'd pay off my house and my parents' house.

RO: What would you buy with your last dollar?

BS: A Snickers bar.

RO: If you could canonize another musician as a saint, who would it be and what would they be the patron saint of?

BS: Tom Waits - The Patron Saint of Rascals.

Bob Schneider plays Friday at House of Blues.

Jef With One F is the author of The Bible Spelled Backwards Does Not Change the Fact That You Cannot Kill David Arquette and Other Things I Learned In the Black Math Experiment, available now.

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