Rocks Off sat down with Robert Ortiz of Escape the Fate, to find out what we could learn about the drummer for the ball-slappin'est hardcore band we know in 30 seconds.
Rocks Off: What is the worst song in the world?
Robert Ortiz: I would say any song from [the] techno, industrial and Dubstep genres could qualify as the worst song ever.
RO: What is the best lyric in the world?
Ortiz: "You look so much cuter with something in your mouth" by Nickelback. Just kidding.
The best lyric is "At the end of the day goddamn I'm killing this shit/ I know damn well y'all feeling this shit" from Kayne West's "Power," because he is saying, "You can hate on me all you want, but you love what I'm doing."
RO: Someone throws a beer bottle at you. What do you do?
Ortiz: Bob and weave.
RO: Without worrying about time, space, or the laws of physics, what is the ultimate gig?
Ortiz: Gravity would be required because it helps me dance. I would use the entire moon, have the world converge into one central location, say Cairo, Egypt, and I would perform for them, with the entire moon as my backdrop. For my finale, I would use the sun for pyro!
RO: What will you buy with your first million dollars?
Ortiz: A bigger stage, and my own bus.
RO: What would you buy with your last dollar?
Ortiz: A lottery ticket.
RO: If you could canonize another musician, who would it be, and of what would they be the patron saint?
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Ortiz: That would be Metallica, and they would be the patron Saint of Awesomeness. Note that I would not call them St. Anger.
Escape the Fate plays with Alesana, Motionless in White, Get Scared, and Drive A tonight at Warehouse Live.
Jef With One F is the author of The Bible Spelled Backwards Does Not Change the Fact That You Cannot Kill David Arquette and Other Things I Learned In the Black Math Experiment, available now.