If you are lucky enough to be going to ACL this weekend, you have no doubt been sitting in front of your concert schedule plotting your movements for this coming weekend.
Alternately if you are missing out on ACL, a lot of the bands playing have been through Houston lately, or will be in town this weekend anyway.
Iggy, why you no come to Houston ever?
On the occasion of this ACL weekend, I have made a list (hisssssssss) of five you should avoid and abandon your lame friends during, and five bands you should definitely see and abandon your lame friends for.
Do you know there are some people going to this festival who would rather see the Shins rather than the Roots??
"I see them every night on Jimmy Fallon anyway," said the stupid bastard in the threadbare MGMT shirt from 2009.
Weezer
Why see Weezer for the fourth time when you can see the Black Lips snort coke out of each others buttholes onstage, or even get a good spot for Florence + The Machine near all the Target goths?
Jack White
Not a knock on Jackie Boy, but Neil Young and Crazy Horse are playing at the same across the park. Skip White, who will no doubt understand and still have sex with you anyway later, to see Young. White will be around for a good while longer. Young could give up the ghost at any time.
Gotye
C'mon, man! Seriously? C'mon man! You spent how much on these tickets? No one even plays after him on that stage, so it's not like you will be camping out for anyone good. You could be seeing the shit show at Bassnectar, listening to the holy Steve Earle, or scoping out babes. And corn dogs. Go get a corn dog!
The Shins
You don't really like the Shins, you just like 2004, the year that Garden State came out. Because you and your ex-boyfriend used to make each other mixtapes with that one Shins song on it all the time. You may also only be going to the Shins in the hopes that James Mercer will play some Broken Bells stuff.
Any Band Featuring Members Dressed Like 19th-Century Bartenders, Blacksmiths, Mystics, Or Aristocrats, But Burlesque Performers Are Cool I Guess
Don't do it, it's a trick. These bands will look like Dexy's Midnight Runners in 20 years. Wait, does this mean that Dexy's are now fashion icons? I'm kinda bothered that ACL didn't book Mumford & Sons this time around, if only so I would have something to watch and not tell you that I enjoyed.
