If you've spent the better part of six years needing a hood, ignorant (and in the words of Jay Bilas' prophetic) New Years celebration, leave it to Young Jeezy to supply all your needs and demands. Who cares if you don't flip bricks or do things that the Snowman does -- just know he has you covered for any and all New Year's scenarios when you're trying to get some.
Oh, and we'd best not forget to mention that he's in town Saturday to spend his New Year's Eve with everybody at Reliant Arena and also to promote his long awaited, oft-delayed, has a Jay-Z & Andre 3000 feature on it (!!) album Thug Motivation: 103. Dudes in Air Jordan Concords are welcome, especially the Get Money Boyz.
"Fuck bad bitches, smoke big blunts (jeah) Who am I to tell ya different? Ya only live once (let's get it)" - "Standing Ovation", Thug Motivation: 101
It's the last day of the year; it's not too hard to decipher what you should be doing. Right? At least you've got a story to tell your friends at iHOP the next day.
"I see opportunity, I'm an opportunist/Nigga ya heard what I said, I'm an opportunist" - "Let's Get It/Sky's The Limit", Thug Motivation: 101
You've basically told her what you do, how you scheme around things. What's one SAT word to completely trip her up and make sure she knows you're about your business? That's right.
"Jeezy like to drink/Jeezy like to smoke/Jeezy like to mix arm and hammer with his coke/Jeezy at the trap/Jeezy like to grind/Jeezy bout his paper/Cuz Jeezy like to shine" - "J.E.E.Z.Y.", The Inspiration
Replace Jeezy's name with yours, now repeat all of those things you do. Pretty much knocks out the requirements for a first date. It's not like you're lying or anything.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the mission of the Houston Press. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Houston’s stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
"Next time I reup I'mma buy me a chopper/And I ain't talkin AK's I'm talkin shit wit propellers/Fly to the club make my old bitch jealous" - "Who Dat", The Recession
In the code of Jeezy, stunting on your old girl by showing up to a New Year's party in a helicopter is not only boss shit, it's what makes her make Drake-like "Marvin's Room" phone calls to you later.
"You wanna make love to a thug in the club with his ice on/'87 jeans and a fresh pair of Nikes on/On the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor/You can meet me in the bathroom yeah you know I'm trying go" - "Love In This Club" from Usher's Here I Stand
Worried about sanitary conditions? It's a club for Christsakes, everybody in there is some kind of dirty anyway. Just make sure you wear a condom and never take a condom from her. Who the hell knows what she's done with it?