This Saturday we'll be Partying Like A Rock Star with Allen Hill and DJ Psychedlic Sex Panther... and maybe Tina Turner, Pink, Zombie Michael Jackson, and probably a few Elvii... or at least some people in attire inspired by famous singers. The event at House of Dereon is a fundraiser benefitting Planned Parenthood's Houston and Southeast Texas.
The fun of the event, other than the music, the food, the booze and the good cause, is that chance to dress in costume a full three months before Halloween. But don't pull that tired week-old Lady Gaga getup out of the closet just yet. You might need a couple of bottles of Valuim and Viarga and an IV drip of Jack Daniels to Party Like A Rock Star, but Rocks Off can at least tell you how to dress like one.
Buy yourself a Bettie Page wig and some cheap sexy lingerie and go as Beyoncé's latest incarnation. Don't have Beyoncé's skin tone? Go as Katy Perry instead. Bonus points if you hand out cupcakes and carry around a can of whip cream people can take hippie crack hits off of.
Take some stringy yellow yarn and glue it to the inside of a rolled-up bandana. Tie it around your head, the top the bandanawig off with a ratty straw cowboy hat. Apply guyliner, a too-tight black t-shirt, and you're set, Bret Michaels. Be sure to carry around a stack of backstage passes to hand out. Oh, and NEVER take off your hat.
Buy a Rockets jersey. Bleach your hair to a brassy yellow. Use grape soda to spike it up. Paint your face like an insane clown using only black and white paint. Start conversations about "fucking magnets and shit". If someone tells you they work as a scientist, blow them off.
Take that Bettie Page wig mentioned above, dirty it up a lot. Cut some crooked layers into it. Wear your kid's tiniest, rattiest t-shirt and the skinniest black jeans you can find. Put on some simple wire-framed sunglasses. Speak in a husky New York accent all night. If you're a dude, you're Joey Ramone. Bonus points if you can get three of your friends to dress the same. If you're a chick, you're Patti Smith.
Put a big blond streak in your hair (you can use colored hair spray for this). Wear a tuxedo bowtie, a stretchy tube top and gold lamé hotpants. Slip on some super tall disco shoes. You're Debbie Harry
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If you're short and have braces and your voice hasn't changed yet, this costume's perfect for you. You can go as Justin Bieber. Comb all of your hair forward. Twitter incessantly. An orange jumpsuit wouldn't hurt either.