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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it, Unless I lay it between the lines!
We know, we know. It's late Christmas evening, you've had a few too many glasses of nog. That turkey is starting to take its toll, and yet you've still got a house full of breeder relatives, complete with their screaming ankle-biters tearing shit up with that new Big Wheel Santa brought them. If only you could get them to leave so you could start your week-long hibernation before the bender that is New Year's Eve weekend. But if you're anything like Rocks Off, you're the
passive aggressivetype, and asking those 'rents to leave nicely simply won't do. So how to get them out? A carefully-chosen playlist, that's how!
"Afternoon Delight," Starland Vocal BandThe vocal harmony sounds so sweet and innocent, until little Bobbly Sue asks Dad what that line about a fish nibblin' bait means.
"Live For Today," The Grass RootsIf this band's name isn't suggestive enough, the lyrics "Take it nice and easy," "Have pleasure while we can" and "I want to feel you deep inside of me" leave little to the imagination. Slow down, buddy, This ain't a race.
"Having My Baby," Paul Anka"Now Rocks Off, you know that abortion laws aren't an appropriate topic of conversation at the dinner table."
"Walk on the Wild Side," Lou Reed"I can't believe he uses the term 'colored girls.' How un-P.C.!"
"You Know I'm No Good," Amy Winehouse"Mommy? What's a carpet burn?"
"Cold Turkey," John LennonIt ain't about leftovers.
"Oops (Oh My)!" Tweet feat. Missy ElliotIt's time to stop being so subtle.
"Pussy Control," PrinceRight. When all else fails, that outta do it.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.