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Inquiring Minds

A DIY Musical Instrument For The Zombie Apocalypse

If you're anything like Rocks Off you're worried about two things: a) That jars of olives are somehow sentient and plotting our demise; and b) that when the dead rise and life becomes a bitter struggle between the living and the zombies there will simply be no time left for music.

Thanks to one man, Christopher Michael David Herron, we no longer have to worry about such a thing. Herron was inspired by a contest to produce a musical instrument out of garbage or trash - the contest's administrator, a morbidly obese man named Albert, could not be reached for comment.

Herron decided that he would utilize what will surely be the most common objects post-World War Z, namely the spent shell casings dropped by desperate defenders before the ghoul hordes pull them down. The result is a fully functional pan flute, and Herron has even been able to pull off Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" using the instrument.

Clearly, we're dealing with a prophet and a genius, so Rocks Off fired off some emails to Herron's hollow volcano lair in Colorado to question him further about the music of the future wasteland.

Rocks Off: What gave you the idea of making the flute?

Christopher Michael David Herron: I've always gotten a kick out of making something for as cheap as humanly possible just to prove I could. So when a member of a prop maker forum proposed a contest to make an instrument from junk I jumped all over it. We had a $20 limit plus whatever we could scrounge up for free. My first two ideas were a PVC didgeridoo and a tin-can fiddle.

The idea for the pan flute actually came to me a few days later when I was cleaning out some bullet casings I had picked up at a shooting range. As I blew out the dirt I noticed they made a whistling noise so I lined up a few different sizes and one thing led to another! My first rendition looked a little funny but after I took off the shotgun shells it started to look pretty good.

RO: How important will music be in the postapocalyptic world?

CMDH: Imagine a world with no radio, Internet, cable, not even - thank God - Twitter. With the constant stress of finding non-radiated water or running from giant insects we would have to have a form of recreation. I think music would be our biggest past time next to fending off mutated zombies.

RO: Are there any important safety tips for people following your instruction? Could one get lead poisoning from using it?

CMDH: The casings themselves don't contain lead, it's the slug you have to watch out for. Clean it out really well and you should be fine. If you are obtaining your bullet casings at a shooting range just be aware of your surroundings and stay safe.

Bullets can ricochet, and not everyone with a gun pays attention. As for the build, just don't glue your fingers together like I did.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner