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Album Covers You'll Never, Ever See on Any UK Stamps

The UK's Royal Mail

recently unveiled a series of stamps based on classic British album covers

, including the Rolling Stones'

Let It Bleed
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and The Clash's

London Calling

. Rumor has it Pink Floyd's

Wish You Were Here

was rejected due to the burning man on the cover, with the Royal Mail electing to go with the much better-known cover of

Dark Side of the Moon

instead. Just kidding. That would have made far too much sense; they actually chose

The Division Bell

, Pink Floyd's final album and one that doesn't even feature Roger Waters. Okay, well, we suppose every stamp set has to have one that absolutely no one wants. Leafing through these iconic album covers, Rocks Off was forced to wonder which English albums not only didn't make the cut this time around, but will probably never make the cut, no matter how many album-cover stamp collections they release.

Queen, A Kind of Magic

It's not the ugliest Queen album cover of all time (you'll see that one later), but it's entirely possible no album cover of its time quite so loudly screams "1991." We're surprised none of them are high-fiving a cartoon turtle on a skateboard.

David Bowie

"Hello Mr. Bowie, welcome to Glamour Shots. Have you been here before? No? Well then, have a seat over here under our Hairspray Cannon."

Patrick Wolf

Less of an ode to childlike whimsy and more like the first couple of levels in

Silent Hill 3

.

Rod Stewart

Oh Jesus, RUN, KID! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

The Chameleons

We know those are supposed to look like turntables, but someone should have tipped the Chameleons off that the whole thing comes together like a Polish surrealist painter's take on Mickey Mouse.

Duran Duran

Ugh. If this album cover sums up a decade, let us learn its history so that we may never repeat it. And why the Milli Vanilli dreads?

Tears for Fears

Looks like they couldn't decide on a concept, so they just went ahead and included them all.

Bauhaus

Very nearly not a goofy cover, if only they had panned to the left a bit and focused on the scary-looking Droogie fellow instead of the panda. Pandas: Not Very Goth.

Rolling Stones

Terrible, ugly album cover, but actually would have made a great profile picture for Charlie Watts' Facebook page.

A Flock of Seagulls

Like most things they did, this cover is an aggressive assault on the eyes. If you squint and stare at it long enough, you can see a dead rat teeming with the Hanta virus.

George Michael

You know, this actually wouldn't be a bad cover for a Korn Christmas album.

Elvis Costello

Holy shit. This looks like a rejected DVD cover for the Jim Carrey film

The Mask

. The fact that someone talked Elvis into dressing up like a wall-mounted ska-clown is a good clue as to why the man has tended to wear nothing but tasteful suits and hats for the past several years. Is all the dignity back yet, Elvis? Is any of it?

The Beatles

Of course this album cover was almost immediately recalled upon release. Was anybody surprised? Why anyone would want to document the Fab Four's excursion to a Baby Mine Field Testing Range is beyond us, but the results are nauseating and disturbing, particularly Paul's expression.

Erasure

Just so you know, this album was professionally designed in 2007, not ripped off of a third-grade girl's binder cover 20 years previous. This is what the sky looked like the night someone finally managed to take She-Ra's virginity.

Queen, The Miracle

The miracle will be if we are ever able to close our eyes again without seeing this in our nightmares.

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