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An Objective Review Of The Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush

Brushing your teeth is important. Poor oral hygiene is gross, and has been linked to heart disease in addition to tooth loss.

Dentists recommend brushing twice a day with a good brush at a leisurely pace to ensure you do a thorough job. Singer Justin Bieber is here to do his part to keep your smile nice and white.

Behold the glory of the Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush. In the past, Rocks Off has tackled music's most effed-up grills, so it seemed only fitting that we try and spread the word to combat it.

Though most of us would rather make music like the Pogues, only an idiot would want Shane McGowan's hideous grin over the flawless glory of Bieber's pearly whites. Ergo, the toothbrush should be worthy of such toothsome perfection, right?

For $9.95, the brush comes with batteries, a detachable and replaceable head, and plays two-minute clips of two Bieber songs. Each song is helpfully labeled as a morning or night tune, because you wouldn't want to get all riled up in the evening with "Love Me" when you could ease into slumber with "Somebody to Love."

The principle behind the brush is actually pretty sound. The night and day options could possibly encourage brushers to indulge in the singing toothbrush twice a day as recommended.

The two-minute duration is also helpful an ensuring that you brush for the proper duration. We were surprised at how much longer you are actually supposed to spend on oral hygiene after playing the songs during brushing.

Also, the head on the brush is definitely not fucking around. It's soft enough to not irritate your gums, but firm enough to really get in there and clean up. If you've spent your whole life using cheap brushes with dollar store bristles, then something a bit more high-caliber will be an eye-opener.

That being said, the Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush is not without its flaws.

First off, the brush comes apart if you look at it funny. The head, body, and battery compartment have no snaps or tabs. They just slide together, and the damn thing fell apart twice while we were using it.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner