Artist of the Week: Future Kings, The Journey Agents

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A prophecy, delivered by a Golden Dream Eagle with ruby eyes and fire in its belly: In the near future, funk will rule the world. It will be the governing body and it will drive earth's natural process and it will be the sole religion and so on. When you're hungry, you'll eat funk. When you want to buy a new bicycle, you'll pay for it with locks of George Clinton's hair. Marriage dowries will consist of Sly and the Family Stone albums and ONLY SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE ALBUMS. The sun will literally wear sunglasses.

And when that day arrives, The Journey Agents, agents of funk and thump, will be kings. And future kings are always given space in the Artist of the Week column. So, here we are.

Interview ho, with mentions of The Matrix, nursery rhymes and chimpanzees. You know what it is.

Rocks Off: Are you all of any relation to The Matrix Agents, because, if so, well fuck.

Journey Agents: ...

RO: You have an ultra-funky instrumental called "Fried Chicken" that (I suspect) was written for either (a) the background music for a scene in a movie where two guys are getting ready to smoke pot, or (b) the background music for a scene in a movie where a pizza delivery guy is about to take his pants off. Is one of those correct?

JA: Depending on the hugeness of the offer that's rolling in, both (a) and (b) would be considered by upper management. "Fried Chicken" can assume many forms.

RO: You have another song called "Children of the Sun." How does one become a child of the sun? I feel like I might be, but I'm not certain.

JA: Very good question. Basically, nik-nak-patty-whack, give a dog a bone, e=mc2, grapes into raisins.

Just be roughly ninety-three million miles from it. You can rest easy on the certainty that you qualify.

RO: When there are as many people in a band as there are in JA, how do they all keep from killing each other, because it kind of seems like with that many different moving parts sooner or later they'd find somebody stuffed inside a trash can?

JA: Every Thursday afternoon, we go to a salon together and just talk. Then on every other Saturday, we go out and just dance. Just talk and dance it out.

RO: Finish this sentence: When you go to a JA show, you're going to_____.

JA: Boogie. [It's] a lost art form. We'd like to bring the boogie back.

RO: Now finish this sentence: When you get into a fistfight with a chimpanzee, you'd better _____.

JA: Take a picture. Your boss would never go for that on your word.

RO: Anything you want to make sure gets mentioned? Shoot.

JA: "Once You Go Black..." on Jan. 28th with our friends at the Petrol Station. Fitzgerald's with the cool kids on the 19th?

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