"Asian Girlz" Is For Real Racist, Also Flat-Out Terrible

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In today's "things that should never exist, ever" file, we bring you one overtly racist song that is making the rounds. It's a real winner, with its lyrics about the beauty of an Asian girl's "creamy yellow thighs," "slanted eyes," "fried rice" and, well, "butt-fucking all night." Yeah. Those are literally the lyrics of this song, which is not a parody.

The song, aptly titled "Asian Girlz," is brought to us by Day Above Ground, a band I'd never heard of until this thing -- and the generalized "what the fuck" response to it -- went viral. Every once in a while, something comes along to make you think the world couldn't possibly get any dumber, and this song would be one of those things. Idiocracy, we have become.

"Asian Girlz" (what's with that "z"?) is offensive from the very start, with a few twinkling notes reminiscent of another Asian-themed ditty, "Kung Fu Fighting," before making its way to other way-insightful lyrics about how this Asian girl's mama is so pretty, with "the best nails in the city." Right, because every Asian woman is employed by a nail salon in Chinatown.

Oh, and not only do all Asian women sit in a nail shop all day long, but all Asians have a taste for shark soup, according to the band, and all of them look somewhere between 17 and 23 years old, because, well, Asians don't age. I shit you not, these are the lyrics. Add that to the whole "butt-fucking all night" thing and the sticky rice references, and we've got a big ol' pot of racist soup. See it now before it gets taken down.

If those aren't enough stereotypes to keep your racist beacon afloat, there's a happy cat waving in the forefront of the video while the guys give shoutouts to places like Alhambra and K-town. Way to choose areas with a heavy Asian population to spew this garbage at. I'm sure the elderly Asian women in Alhambra will find the endearing qualities of your insinuation that they all "butt-fuck" all night because simply because they're Asian. I'm kind of dumbfounded by the entire thing.

While it's obvious to me that these guys probably have some serious issues with porn addictions and small penises, they're defending themselves against the backlash and swearing on a stack of Frost N' Glow that the song is an homage to Asian women, and not a parody gone wrong.

The band has responded to the cries of racism with the following statement, which they originally posted on YouTube. Please note that they justify this garbage with the fact that they have an Indonesian bass player. Sorry, dudes, the "I have black friends" excuse does not negate this whole hot mess. Take a look:

This song is us, Day Above Ground, making fun of ourselves (and many, many other guys) obsession with the always lovely, Asian Woman. It pushes this concept to an absurd level, but at the same time is endearing & submissive.

WE ARE NOT RACIST, HAHA! I mean, look at our band, it's multicultural!! The guy in the bow-tie, our cutie bass player, was born in Indonesia, and he steals the show!! Please don't take this tongue-in-cheek tribute to some of the most gorgeous women on the planet too seriously!! You'll ruin the fun of it all!! Thanks for watching, sincerely!!

So yeah. There's that. But it wouldn't be fair to only point out the fact that this song, recorded this century, is racist. It's also a piss-poor excuse for "music." It's awful, especially for a bunch of dudes whose bio compares their sound to A Perfect Circle, Led Zeppelin and The Doors. In all actuality, the dude with the frosted tips is like a racist transplant from Sugar Ray, he's off pitch the entire song, and I don't even care to delve any further into the rest of this low-budget mess.

I've never considered the idea that a racist boy band exists, but if one does, this is their sound and their lyrics. There is nothing Doors, Zeppelin, or A Perfect Circle about it. Maybe they meant "The Doorz," but they used their only available "z" on "Asian Girlz."

When are these bands going to learn that slapping a bunch of offensive lyrics into a song and touting it as a piece of "art" is just not the way? I don't care how much you love these "Asian girlz," the insinuation that you have the right to throw in racist and offensive nods to someone's heritage because you like "butt-fucking" them all night is not the way to sell an album.

So artists, here's a bit of advice. When you're thinking of busting out some lyrics on the color of someone's skin tone and incorporating a bunch of generalizations about a certain ethnicity, back the fuck up and just stop. I mean, did we learn nothing from "Accidental Racist?"

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