The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -- lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good -- so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to ask a rapper? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
This Week's Rapper: Reggie
This Week's Prompt: Recently, Pusha T, a talented rapper who has mostly been absent from mainstream rap for the past 100 years, fired a diss track at Drake, who has possibly become the de facto king of rap consumed by the masses.
The song was okay, but that was largely due to Pusha T having an all-world rap voice; lyrically, it was slightly less inspired. So we asked Reggie to offer up some other weak "you're wack" tracks. Although we did have to edit it a little, he did not disappoint.
6. Soulja Boy, "Fuck Bow Wow"
Reggie: This song is entertaining, to say the least part, it just sucks, especially in the ranks of hip-hop diss records. "You gay as fuck, boy, you sweeter than a lemon, mayne"? Wack [laughs] Lemons ain't sweet, nigga. Lemonade is. [laughs] He's commenting on dick size: "Superhead, Ciara and Angela said you have a little dick"?
Never cool for a man to comment on [someone else's] dick size, I don't care who you are. "We don't believe you, you need more people"? Nice Mobb Deep reference, but he said it in this retarded OJ da Juiceman cadence that he raps in and it just sounds stupid. The shit-talking at the end is the best this track gets to me. This shit sucks.
5. Ja Rule, "Clap Back"
Reggie: I thought this was one of the weakest responds to a diss EVER. 50 had just dropped the "Wanksta" video with the Ja Rule doll thrown in the trash and was just assassinating this man's character with mixtapes, with "I Smell Pussy," that you knew Rule was gonna come back hard...and it's this?
A jiggy beat, and the hook is a repetitive, almost dancy, bounce-back-and-forward-type-like-you-in-church-type shit as your response record. He dropped the video, too, and he's just in the spot with [women] on his lap. Who gets ready for war with 30 [women] in the spot with no type of artillery in sight? [laughs].
Ja Rule lost me this one. I don't have any lyrics from this one, the whole damn song wack. You're probably gonna cut it off before the verse anyway.
4. Benzino, "Die Another Day"
Reggie: I always thought Benzino was wack, and this song just further proves it. Benzino comes off as this jealous motherfucker who's mad at the industry because Eminem is successful and he's white. White people shouldn't be successful in this industry and that it's a plot for the white man to corrupt your minds and shift you over to this mainstream trap -- which is probably true -- but with Eminem?
And to top it off, he said he was gonna hurt the man's child. Never threaten a man's family over wax, that's when you cross the line from rap beef to something else. When you do that, you better be ready for something else.
"Tell Hailey it ain't safe no more, Daddy better watch your back at the candy store, you fucked up, resort to plan B, she fuck around and end up like JonBenét Ramsey." Serious [talk] from a wack rapper and a wack song [laughs].
3. Jermaine Dupri, "JD's Replay"
Reggie: JD is a legend in the producing game and we know that, but this song sucks mucho ass. He was never a great rapper to me and this diss track shows his non-lyrical ability. "And Eminem, Tim, Tom, Dink and Hank, already know that I'm something y'all aint? / With that S-O-S-O-Def mob, fuck Dre, it's JD, and here's how I'mma greet ya. Stop fool, come off that beat, ya"? [laughs].
Thumbs down. This was around 2003, and he still sounds like when Brat dropped "Funkdafied." Wack diss from wack rapper. .
2. Rick Ross, "Beautiful (Freestyle)"
Reggie: I haven't heard this track in a while, but I used to have it on a mixtape back before Port of Miami. Ross had beef with T.I. over some "you talking shit 'bout Miami"-type shit. I was a big Ross fan at the time and had all his material.
When I saw that "T.I. Diss," I just knew it was some heat; it was a huge-ass dud. I can't remember any lines and I couldn't find it,* but it was horrible.
*Not a surprise, really.
1. E.S.G., "Watch Yo' Back"
Just to be clear, I'm from the north of Houston -- Acres Homes, to be exact. So when it comes to North versus South, I'mma ride with my side. This diss to Slim was funny to me. It sucked.
Ever since we heard how Slim did Lil Mario and them other [guys] on "The Boss," then Lil Flip and squad up on that "Boss Basics," he couldn't be touched in the eyes of us "nawfsidas," mayne.
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These lines were child's play: "Southside magician, watch E.S.G. make a 6'6" bitch transform into a K" [laughs], like, [he] went through the alphabet dissin' [him]. "O is for the ostrich skin in my old school, you had beef with Flip talkin 'bout what you gon do, mad cause Flip had 'boss' on his shirt? [unprintable punch line -- ed].
[Laughs] We all know what E.S.G. mean to the city and no disrespect, OG... wack diss song, mayne.