Ask Willie D

I Think I'm Being Catfished. Help!

I Think I'm Being Catfished. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
Dear Willie D:

I’ve been communicating with this beautiful girl on Facebook for about two months. Like me, she loves to read, exercise and bike. I live in Houston, and she lives in Honolulu. We inbox each other all the time. She asked me to fly her to Houston to be with me, but I made up some excuse about having to work. The truth is, I don’t have money like that.

Whenever I try to get her to do a video call or even a voice call, she refuses, saying she is not dressed appropriately or she’s sleepy. She asked to see a nude picture of me, so I sent her one of me from the waist down. But when I asked her to send me a picture of her nude, again she refused. She is being very evasive, but she says she loves me and wants to be my girlfriend.

She said she lives with her mother, but she never posts pictures of her mother. In fact, she hasn’t posted any new pictures since we started exchanging messages. My friend says I’m being catfished. He said it has to be a dude because if it was a girl, even if she was unattractive, she would still talk to me on the phone. What do you think?

Identity Crisis:

Whenever a “woman” you meet on social media claims to love you but won’t make herself available to talk, Skype or Facetime you, that means she, I mean he, is not who he says he is.

Also, anytime someone has a broad list of interests that could almost apply to almost anyone, that’s a dead giveaway. Sorry, buddy, but your friend is right. You’re being catfished by some dude named Jerry Sandusky.


Dear Willie D:

My wife of eight years has been asking about my life insurance policy lately. In the past month, she asked me about something related to it at least three times. Our relationship has been on the rocks for the past three years ever since I found out she was living a double life. She was in a full-blown relationship with her friend’s brother.

She says it’s over, but I don’t trust her. We don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore. Since I’m estranged from my 29-year-old son, and my parents are deceased, I don’t have any immediate family. So, I’m thinking of changing the primary beneficiary of my insurance policy from my son to my ex-wife (not his mother). She is a good woman, and friend.

I’m sure you think I’m crazy, but my wife doesn’t deserve to benefit off my death, especially if she has a hand in it. She keeps asking to see my insurance policy, so that she’s taken care of “if something happens to me.” Her name is not on the current policy, and won’t be on the new one. What should I do?

Life Insurance:

You ever thought about divorce?


Dear Willie D:

Everyone in my family is telling me to dump my 22-year-old boyfriend because he constantly gets in trouble with the law. He has been to jail four times in the past year. I guess you could say he has trouble respecting authority because he doesn’t get along with his parents at all either. They don’t even speak.

Most of the time he’s at my house. I’m a college grad living with my parents and two sisters, who think he is bad news. They think he is holding me back socially and career-wise. At the moment, he is in jail facing four years for felonious assault as a result of a fight he had with some guys who tried to jump his friend in his neighborhood.

I’m young, but I believe that you stand by your man. That’s not how my family sees it. They are all saying that I should quit while I’m ahead. But if I leave him while he’s down, I feel like I would be no different from everybody else who’s abandoned him. I feel lost right now. Any advice will help. Thanks for reading my story.

Ahead of the Family:

Your boyfriend is a thug, and there’s a reason everybody abandoned him. Unless you’re looking forward to a life of weekend prison visits and raising babies alone, I suggest you pick up your chips and walk away from the crap table.

Trying to fix a broken man is a sucker bet.

Ask Willie D anything at, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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Willie D is a member of the legendary hip hop band, the Geto Boys, the host and executive producer of the Willie D Live podcast, and an advice columnist for the Houston Press since 2013.
Contact: Willie D