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At 4:20 On 4/20, Music's Biggest Burnouts

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Britney Spears: Remember a few years back when everyone thought Brit was going to die soon? When she gained all that weight, married that douchebag, shaved her head and attacked a convoy of paparazzi with an umbrella? Yeah, we're all pretty sure she was high throughout all that. We don't exactly know what she was high on, but she spent a while in rehab and came out way, way saner.

Some suggest the head-shaving thing was to avoid her hair being used to test for drugs, but like any good drug rumor, we have no idea as to the veracity of this claim. Plus, as you can see in this video here, she expressed a desire to watch the 1997 crapfest Spawn, which is one of the twelve signs of THC overdose. We're very grateful Britney got her shit together, if for no other reason than it'll probably be a while before she wants to do another reality series.

Ozzy Osbourne: Ever since The Osbournes premiered on MTV early last decade, Ozzy has been something of a joke. He's in on the joke, of course, and this is because people often make the key mistake of forgetting he's not stupid. No, really. Listen to even his more recent interviews and you'll see the man can still speak lucidly. Even so, he does seem to have trouble expressing himself at times, and Ozzy will be the first to tell you what is to blame: Drugs, and lots of them.

His stumbling, stammering method of speech is often parodied, and serves as a cautionary to the youngsters. Kids, if you fry your brain on tons and tons of drugs, you could very well grow up to be a millionaire rock star who can't speak clearly. Or, you know... the President of the United States.

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John Seaborn Gray