We have the post-holiday blues today. Part of it is because we ate too much bread pudding and drank four bottles of Andre champagne. The other part is because, for yet another Christmas, we didn't get Baller Blockin in our stocking. By now we thought we'd be curled up in bed, watching hood DVD's with our last Andre bottle.
Maybe the truest DIY hood classics are a lost art form. In high school we could have picked up a copy of Baller Blockin PLUS a bootleg copy of a new theatrical release outside of the Exxon on Fondren and the Beltway. Now they're impossible to find. And we're not talking about the hood classics like Belly, In Too Deep, or State Property -- those movies had professional scriptwriters and were actually released in theaters. The filmography we're referring to consists of the straight-to-DVD-or-bootleg-disc classics.
We've put together a list of some of our favorite hip-hop industry flicks -- keep in mind that most of these are full of bad acting and poor production. You can even see the boom mic in a few shots.
Some of the videos attached are clips, but most are parts from each movie. Apparently you can actually watch all of these movies in full on YouTube, as long as you take it in doses. We think you might be able to get the gist of them in one.
Baller Blockin (2000) starring BG, Juvenile, Lil Wayne, and Turk
Sure, there are a lot of mistakes in this film. One of the characters who gets shot and killed is used as an extra later on in the movie. We don't care. Baller Blockin is one of the best movies ever.
The Dirty 3rd The Movie (2000) starring the Wreckshop Family
Once you get over the acting and awkward transitions, you can appreciate The Dirty 3rd for what it is: a very rare (and real) cinematic piece of Houston. The film follows the rap collective Wreckshop Family as the members try to make a name for themselves and leave the street life. Above is the full movie. Look for SPM.
Killa Season (2006) starring Cam'ron, Juelz Santana, and Hell Rell
If you've never seen this movie, please watch it. There's entirely too much violence, even for a mob movie, and it's hella offensive but it's Cam. Everything he says in this movie is infectious, and we can't really repeat it because our dad reads this stuff regularly.
Loyalty and Respect (2006) starring Quanie Cash and Young Buck
Rapper Quanie Cash wrote, directed, and starred in this movie about drug trafficking in "Cashville" Tennesse. Young Buck has a cameo, but it's more of a "special appearance" than a role in the movie.
Choices (2001) starring Three 6 Mafia, Project Pat, and La Chat
Choices was shot in Memphis Ten-a-key, the home of the Three 6 Mafia and affiliates, and is about an ex-convict who is trying to get his life back on track. He has to resist the temptations of drugs, dirty money, and strippers. Project Pat has some real acting chops.
Shottas (2002) starring Kymani Marley and Spragga Benz
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We first saw this movie as an unfinished bootleg cut. The Jamaican crime movie, set in both Kingston and Miami, was a classic before it was even officially released. This was all thanks to the true lovers and pioneers of cinema distribution: bootleggers.
Tha Eastsidaz starring Snoop Dogg, Tray Deee, and Goldie Loc
In this Long Beach story of revenge, Snoop plays "Killa Pop" alongside fellow rappers Tray Dee and Goldie Loc who play Crackle and Snap. They're the Rice Krispy G's. Yeah, it's that bad. Snoop is unapologetic and persistent when it comes to his film endeavors, though. Take a look at his filmography.