is "a porno audition tape set to music" that will "spawn another misguided female anthem."

:

First, the single is going to perpetuate this trend of unloved/unwanted/unappreciated Black women. Not to mention, it's really just cheap pandering. I mean, let's be honest, what women doesn't feel like their obvious dopeness goes unnoticed.

He goes on...

And here comes the tricky part: Beyoncé is a married woman! So she, like Dateline and Steve Harvey, are simply pimping the single Black woman trend for monetary gain. She's getting her listeners all whipped up into a frenzy about putting a ring on it when she waited 6 years before Jay-Z married her... The point is, all of that leotard-wearing and gyrating is pretty entertaining but it's not real.

Where, oh where, do we start? For one, like Hollywood movies, not every lyric to every song recorded has to be based in fact. Some people have imaginations and are able to make things up. Secondly, this dude seems to think marriage is the answer to all of life's problems. Beyonce can't possibly feel underappreciated! She's married! And she has a lot of money!

has released a new promo video on their

, which looks like them just fooling around in the studio and cracking jokes. It's fun! We got

from

:

Alice Cooper says there it's impossible to find a good young guitarist, bands that don't write good songs are lazy and young musicians should listen to the Beatles, Burt Bacharach and the Beach Boys for songwriting inspiration.

Hear hear! Speaking of Balke, he riffs on our Concert Etiquette for Dummies over at Broken Record. • Houston pianist Jennifer Grassman's newest album, Serpent Tales & Nightingales, was recently reviewed by Christianity Today agazine (they review secular music too). The reviewer gave the album four out of five stars and called it "One of the more intriguing albums I've heard in a while." Andrew Dansby at the Chronicle talks to Indian Jewelry about their new album, Totaled. Whatever you do, don't call their music "dark". And here's Dryvetyme Onlyne's review of the album. HoustonMusicReview.com has revived its Texas Two-Step feature with a review of The Stone Coyotes at Dosey Doe. The New York Times has been all up in Texas' business lately. This week, The Gray Lady is proclaiming Dallas' Deep Ellum as the hip new place to be. While we're on the subject of Dallas, here's a homecoming for ousted American Idol contestant and Fort Worthian Casey James. Here's a live version of Flowers To Hide's "Love's Twisted Trap," recorded just last week at Rudyard's. Metafilter picked up MCM's story last week about the 40th anniversary of the KPFT bombing. Not that we want to toot our own horn or anything, but the post is interesting to read for all the commenters hyping their favorite programs on the progressive listener-supported radio station.

has a new video out for their song "Guilt" and you can download a copy of their album

at

. Today is the start of the

which, in addition to theater performances and film will also feature local music. The festival runs through May 23, and full details are on the Web site. The

are hosting a weekly

every Monday at Mangos. The event features cash prizes for winners, gong sounds for losers and fun for all. This project will end in late July and culminate with a final Gong Show. The

 played Last Concert Cafe this past weekend. If you missed them, you can catch up with the band

with Houston Calling. Houstonist has

of

new EP

. Thanks to y'all,

is going to

. And here's another review of

 "Waiting For You/Dog Water"

. Friday's shaping up to be a busy day 'round H-town. In addition to a lot of great touring acts, the

are celebrating the release of their new album

at Walters. $10 cover gets you a copy of the new CD. Saturday is the

poster show

. Robert Ellis and Ghormeh Sabzi are performing, starting at 7 p.m. Rocks Off showed you

a few weeks ago. Houston Calling is profiling some of the acts performing at Summer Fest. This week

. And finally, on Saturday

will perform their

on the roof of Khon's with

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, at 8 p.m., for free. We do not know what this is about, but we like it.