Lost your job? 401(k) a distant memory? Still think a country boy can survive? Well, America, you're in luck: Hank Williams Jr. feels your pain, and he wants to help out. Today, in conjunction with his new single "Red, White and Pink-Slip Blues," Hank Jr. announced his "Bocephus Bailout Package." According to his publicity firm, Bocephus is dipping into his pockets "in an effort to help tax-paying Americans get through these hard times."
In other words, if you don't pay your taxes, as far as ol' Hank is concerned, you can just fuck right off then. If you're in good standing with the IRS, though, he's got quite an offer for you. He'll give you and one of your rowdy friends $1,500 towards travel and hotel to one of his concert locations, plus an additional $1,000 spending money - which, considering his only non-casino date at the moment is June 13 at the Republic of Texas biker rally in Austin, you're definitely going to need.
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It doesn't stop there...
You'll also get to be an "Honorary Crew Member" for the show, meaning you get to hang out backstage getting in the way of actual crew members, and three things that should help you scrounge up rent money once you put them on eBay: a limited-edition collector's edition tin containing Bocephus' Family Tradition, Whiskey Bent & Hell Bound and The Pressure Is On CDs (which is actually pretty cool); a Monday Night Football guitar (hell yeah); and autographed copy of "Red, White and Pink-Slip Blues."
"Red, White and Pink-Slip Blues" is apparently the theme song for all those "tea parties" going on yesterday. (As much as we hate to admit it, all the "teabagging" jokes are still pretty funny.) So hats off to Hank Jr. for putting up his own money instead of, you know, letting Barack Obama beat him to it. Register for his only moderately self-promoting largesse package at www.bocephusbailout.com.
Bocephus, by the way, will also be at the Coushatta casino and resort in Kinder, La., June 12 - anyone else smell a road trip?