Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking. A new Limp Bizkit video? Is this 1999? No, my friends, this is 2013: the year of the nostalgia act.
As irrelevant as Limp Bizkit may seem to those of us who grew up when they were a thing, there's a whole generation of kids growing up now who view them as some kind of genre progenitors; the kind of influential early band that paved the way for all your favorite deathcore and rapcore bands today.
How Limp Bizkit, of all fucking bands, ended up being the modern equivalent of classic rock is anyone's guess, but it was enough to attract Cash Money Records to sign them, so they must be doing something right. That being said, they still suck just as much as they did more than a decade ago, and their new video for their single "Ready to Go" is definitive proof. Here's a play-by-play of all the video's greatest hits.
1. "Go fuck yourself!"
The song immediately opens with the incredible lyric, "go fuck yourself!" Just so you know what you're in for.
2. The Light-Up Bass
3. The Ultimate Fan Pic
"I don't wanna see this on your MySpace page. Please, no gang signs. Nah, throw it up. I'm kiddin'."
4. What the hell happened to this guy's grill, and who is he?
5. Oh, it's Nicolas Cage in Zandalee.
6. Ladies and gentlemen, Fred Durst literally taking a shit.
Or, in other words, making this song.
7. So good, we had to see it twice.
8. A move clearly stolen from Prince.
9. Going Gaga
"I'm so poker face, ladies going gaga!"
10. This is about as sexy as the movie Teeth.
11. Wait for it...
14. Wait, who's that?
15. YES! It's Lil Wayne!
"What the fuck is up? UH! Fuck the world, bust a nut! I'm on this and that and such and such! It's ashes to ashes, dust to dust, come on!"
16. Is this guy in Lil Wayne's crew?
If so, he's my new favorite.
17. Oh, is this the new Kings of Leon video?
18. No, it's a black metal video.
19. And Fred Durst is an MMA fighter now.
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20. Sorry Freddie, no play for Mr. Gray.