Bret Michaels

Bret Michaels is a horny beast. Throughout his time as the lead singer and frontman of classic hair-metal band Poison, this was a well-documented fact. He initially wooed women with a hyperactive stage personality — music videos showed him makin' eyes and advances on wickedly dressed über-babes — but then he'd slow it down and aurally caress their lady-spot with smoothly strummed, sensual power ballads. With his tight clothes, vampy attitude and requisite rocker-length hair, he was quintessentially '80s sex-on-a-stick. Similar to his perma-boner peers in Mötley Crüe, Michaels seemed to have a thirst that only 'tang would quench, and today it seems not much has changed. Though grunge came along some time in the early '90s and made hair metal look like yesterday's used condom, he released several fairly well-received solo albums and became a talking head on VH-1. Indeed, as star and subject of that network's recent "celebreality" hit Rock of Love, Michaels is currently entertaining audiences in a whole new way. The dating show arouses rumor and scandal, as a gaggle of busty gals basically punch one another in the breast implants over who gets to date him. And through it all, Michaels is still a dude who aspires to rock, even if the hairline of his long blond mane is now strategically hidden under a do rag.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Lees, Jamie