Bun B is many things: Beyond-influential rapper, college professor, entrepreneur and trillman (totally just made that word up). But above all else, he's long been recognized as a decent, caring and wise person.
It's why any time his name is added in the tagline of anything good or worthwhile, it's always met with a "Yeah, that makes sense." (The opposite of how that works with Waka Flocka.) Which is why it was no surprise at all when the requisite PR email blast went out announcing that, for a second year in a row, he had teamed up with Boost Mobile to run a food drive to benefit the Houston Food Bank.
In addition to simply offering you an opportunity to feel good about yourself, he's also offering two free tickets to his show at Warehouse Live this Saturday to anyone who donates five or more cans of food. We recommend Rosarita's Refried Beans; those hoes are delicious.
Now, seeing as how Bun B is evidently intent on curing the world's ills, we sent out a mass email/text to a whole host of rappers, regular readers, Facebookers, homeless guys and Kroger's cashiers to see what hip-hop ailments he could lend his hand to next.
Check Kanye's Ego
Actually, this one we're on the opposite side of. Kanye without his ego is like Dirk Diggler without his dong; both would be little more than average without them. Besides, Kanye has made four of the 20 best rap albums of the last decade. We'd be absolutely okay with him barging into our house during dinner only to slap the spoon out of son's mouth and tell him that there's no Santa Claus.
The Skinny Jeans Avalanche
Blecch. Again, we'll take the other side here too. Skinny jeans are cool. They just are. Sorry.
Fix The Texans' Secondary
The Texans will likely finish the year out under .500. That's the same Texans team that people were picking as a dark-horse contender for the AFC championship game as recently as the second week OF THIS SEASON.
Get J-Dawg Out From Underneath Slim's Clumsy Thumb
Yipes. This, of course, is a swipe at Thugga, predicated on Killa Kyleon's run of success immediately after moving from the Boss Hogg Outlaws to A.M.G. J-Dawg is a monster, no doubt, and Behind Tint Vol. 2 rates as one of the year's best albums. It'll be curious to see exactly how 2011 plays out for him, particularly if the whispers that he'd be better handled elsewhere begin to grow louder and louder.
Get Trae and The Box To Make Friends
You know, a bunch of these other ones are jokey - it's always easier to fire back a cutesy email that says something like, "Can you have him fix my wife's cooking? Har, har, har." - but if anybody on the planet can make this happen, it's probably Bun. It has to be Bun. Yes, Bun, if you happen to read this, please, you've helped everyone from the new hip-hop class to Haitians, make this happen.
Make Gucci Mane Disappear
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SHOW ME HOW
Fortunately, Gucci appears to be working pretty hard on this one himself.
We're not certain Christopher Nolan even know what was really going on in that movie. Still, it's always smart to say that you understood and laugh at people honest enough to admit that they didn't (this, by the way, is the correct way to handle every situation all of the time).
Got some stuff you'd like Bun to fix? Leave your concerns in the comments. See information about drop-off stations for Saturday's food drive at www.warehouselive.com.