While we celebrate the holidays, Rocks Off is resurrecting a few of our best Christmas-themed blogs from the past few years. (Wait... resurrecting is Easter. Never mind.) This blog originally appeared December 11, 2009.
Aside from the heavy metal Christmas songs we threw your way earlier this week, Rocks Off also loves us some punk rock Yuletide jams. Over the years plenty of punks have tried their scabby and tattooed hands at holiday songs, especially the pop-punks, who are very fond of those ironic covers.
We decided to dig out some the classic punk rockers doing their best Santa and Baby Jesus odes, to keep shit classy. We're sure that Green Day and MxPx have done some decent Christmas songs, but who cares? We have a rep to uphold, mama.
Ramones, "Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)" The bruddahs from Queens remind you that the holiday isn't just a time for trimming the tree with your honey and mixing vodka with egg nog. It's also a time to air your grievances from the past year until one of you chokes the ever-loving shit out of the other one.
Fear, "Fuck Christmas" "Hey Lee Ving, it's Jesus Christ. Yeah so I'm just sitting here on YouTube looking for clips from that Spheeris movie you did back in the day. Fuck my birthday, huh? That's cool. I didn't feel like putting a good word for you anyway with Dad. Nah, think I'm just gonna sit tight while you get raped by that Dahmer boy."
Bad Religion, "Silent Night" It's a shame that BR lead singer Greg Graffin didn't get to shove a few six-consonant words into this timeless Christmas carol. You just know he was chomping at the bit to howl something about a plutocracy or an automaton.
The Damned, "There Ain't No Sanity Clause" The Damned usually gets the title of "first punk band in England," but we never really got into them along our punk travels. "New Rose" is pretty cool, we guess, but the Dead Boys did their shtick a lot better. Either way, they put a decent spin on this classic.
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GG Allin, "The 12 Days of Christmas" This will fulfill all your Christmas needs in so many ways. We never thought we would "squee" in our seats at work, but we are pretty sure we just did. It's everything you want in a GG Allin song: Whores, blood, ass and titties.