Note: This post was written by Rocks Off's friend and LA Weekly music editor Ben Westhoff, who obviously had a more interesting weekend than we did.
At Coachella, folks come from all over the world to lose themselves in the music. They'll employ almost anything in this quest -- but mostly drugs. Some of the folks below have taken too many, some are badly in need of a buzz, but all are our favorite awkward Coachella dancers.
We're not trying to diss; people like them make the experience so much fun. Three cheers to Nanette Gonzales and Taylor Hamby, who helped put this post together, and the dubstep at the Do LaB stage, without which most of these moves would not be possible.
10. Touch the Sky, Touch the Floor (top) It almost looks like the ladies above spent a few minutes rehearsing these power moves beforehand, but then were like,"Nah, we'll just do what comes natural."
9. Come Fly Away With Me There's nothing like a cape to give a man the sense that he can fly. Up up and away with you, fine-feathered friend.
8. Inner-Tubin' Her gesticulations say "straight gangsta," while her outfit and accessories cry out for stronger role models.
7. Bucking bronco There's something subliminally seductive about a man waving around a stuffed horsie-head on a stick. Actually, come to think of it, not really.
6. Twirly-Bird Everything, from her outfit to her choreography to the flying puff balls speak to something of which we have absolutely no idea.
5. Bro-step Forget fratstep, Bro-step is where you twist and glide as gentle and carefree as if Skrillex himself were cheering you on in heaven.
4. The Mad Conducta We want to be this guy's friend. Seriously. Write to Ben Westhoff care of LA Weekly, and tell us where you want to hang out, and when. The first 15 drinks are on us.
3. Genie In a Bottle She can make your dreams come true, but be careful what you wish for.
2. The Merrill Garbus Waltz These two were spotted busting moves at the Tune-Yards' set. In their defense, they were the best dancers in the entire crowd.
1. The Tiny-Ponytail Trot Mothers, lock up your daughters. No, seriously, drug test them fortnightly and don't let them go to liberal arts colleges.
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