3 Doors Down, Time of My Life (July 19): They wait three years between albums, how cheesy is that? Can we let this band go, already? They've done enough for the emotionally displaced parents of suburbia.
Aqua (name/date TBA): They have recently released and recorded a video for their new single, "How R U Doin?" In our opinion, "Barbie Girl" will forever be a banger, and is so much more reflective than people give it credit for. This shit doesn't compare. Check them out on Denmark's version of X Factor. They ain't doin' too well. Their first album was titled Aquarium, the followup was Aquarius. Third? Aquaic. Get it? It sounds like archaic. Whatever.
Jesse McCartney, Have It All (date TBA): He released a single called "Shake" in 2010, but has changed the release date of this album three times already. When is his publicist going to help this dude out and tell him he's just the broke tween's Justin Bieber? This single sounds so much like "One Time" that it's completely essential to have half-naked girls dancing around him to distract from the fact.
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