Well, hello there! Thanks for coming on such short notice. We were lucky to get reservations at this place. Luckily I know Neil, the manager. I helped him out with a little problem he had with a waitress some time ago. Here, I brought you a rose, in case you came without one. But let's talk about you. I'm here to listen. Tell me everything... don't hold back. No, you won't shock me. Believe me, I've heard it all. Why, just last week my dear friend Cecilia... well, she told me some things that would make a Storyville madam blush. I'm amazed she could find one other person into that sort of thing, let alone five. You know, the service in this place has really gone downhill lately. What does a girl have to do to get her water glass filled around here? Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, your delicate little problem. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I'm a listener, not a talker. I wouldn't dream of breaching your confidence. Why, I had a friend named Melissa who had a situation far worse than yours. It seems she had a one-legged pool boy, and... I swear, our waiter must be on a break. Where's Neil? He's going to hear about this. So please, continue. Remember, you can tell me anything. I'm here for you. Tell me what's on your mind, and how I can help. Waiter? Waiter!! See more truly awful album covers at www.bizarrerecords.com.
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