Whatever

Cutout Bin: Eugene J. Benge's How to Become a Successful Executive

Eugene J. Benge

How to Become a Successful Executive (Success Motivation Institute, 1962)

You TOO can be a successful executive! Imagine the jealousy of your peers when they see your new office!

A wide expanse of walnut just waiting for the business to roll in. A lesser man might be satisfied with just one pen. Not you. And the gold plated letter opener will make a mean slice once the correspondence starts coming.

Ms. Johnson! Ms. Johnson, there! A cup of your fine commercial brew for the new executive. Squeeze back behind the desk and warm up the keys on that Smith Corona. I may soon have a letter to dictate. I'm halfway through my library of success-building books and the money-making ideas are starting to flow. In no time, the clients will be filling up my appointment book and my ashtray. Ms. Johnson, I know I can trust your discretion with the secret bottle in the bottom drawer. Sometimes a successful executive needs a little nip to keep his confidence up.

Well, that should do it. My hair is greased and my cuffs linked. Any calls yet, Ms. Johnson?

Are you sure the number you put in the ad was correct? Well, fine. I'm not worried. With my advice on this record and my snazzy new desk, I cannot fail!

See many more truly awful albums at www.bizarrerecords.com.

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