So what made the two -- who have traded potshots in the press for almost 20 years -- come over all kum-ba-ya for the tour dubbed by some wags as "Sans Halen"?
"Actually, Bono called me and said we had to do this for world peace," Roth quipped at the kickoff press conference. True to form, the king of cock rock was accompanied by a set of Playboy triplets in yellow cat outfits and a shock-wigged dwarf.
Dave on fashion: "Nobody wants to dress like me. When I wear on stage, I wear through the airports of America, and people sizzle like wieners on a barbecue! And girls, you can tell what religion I am from 300 meters away!"
Calling on the eve of the first tour date from the "Disco Submarine," as Roth has christened his tour bus, Roth is a manic interview subject, sometimes answering questions in stream-of-consciousness bursts that make Robin Williams's talk show appearances seem as lucid as The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer.
"I practice self-promotion as an art form -- along with ridicule and sarcasm!" he blurts out between raspy laughs. "I'm more like Mark Twain wandering! The innocent abroad! This is what I try to reiterate in my lyrics and videos -- there's a sarcastic exuberance about all the classic Van Halen stuff that I think summarizes rock and roll. Rock and roll is not lament! Lament is folk music!"
From its formation in 1974, Van Halen was America's closest answer to Led Zeppelin. Tracks like "Runnin' with the Devil," "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love," "Dance the Night Away," "Jamie's Cryin'" and covers of Kinks, Roy Orbison, and even Martha and the Vandellas songs blasted from every suburban-basement bong party and high school parking lot.
But while Eddie Van Halen's revolutionary fret-hammering style, brother Alex's hard-pounding drums and Michael Anthony's nimble bass formed the band's musical side, it was often Roth's front-man antics that drove the band. With his hairy bare chest, tight rainbow spandex pants and high-flying karate kicks, Roth injected a bawdiness and campy humor best exemplified on their record 1984.
With a decidedly more fun take on the year than George Orwell, the record spawned numerous hits, including "Jump," "Panama" and "Hot for Teacher." It was a pop metal classic whose endlessly repeating videos on MTV brought the band to its commercial pinnacle.
Playing out a familiar scenario, Roth split the next year for a solo career, which at first seemed promising with the hit albums Crazy from the Heat and Eat 'Em and Smile. Van Halen continued with Hagar to further success, but changing tastes and some lackluster records grounded Roth's career. Soon he was playing showrooms in Vegas.
After Hagar's bitter departure in 1996, things seemed primed for Roth to rejoin the group, especially after recording two new songs with them for the ambitiously titled Best of Van Halen, Vol. 1. But at a much ballyhooed appearance together at the MTV Awards, Diamond Dave -- being himself -- ad-libbed and took over, much to the obvious anger and embarrassment of Eddie Van Halen. After that, the split was for keeps -- with a none-too-convincing Van Halen claiming that the reunion was "never meant to be permanent." The brothers then recruited ex-Extreme warbler Gary Cherone as the new front man, but his tenure lasted for just one tour and record, a commercial and critical bomb.
Dave on making the cover (in a thong, no less) of Spin's "100 Sleaziest Moments in Rock" issue, and on female companionship in 2002: "Who would you rather be, Hugh Hefner or Bill Gates? Who will history venerate more? It's all lies and rumors, designed to destroy my good name, Bob! Heh-heh. That's not an objection, your honor! In this information age, I get e-mails from [women] with pictures of the city, seat, numbers and things like 'Dear Dave, I'll be in aisle 352 wearing such and such ' Now you can e-mail me from your seat, and I can e-mail you back! Heh-heh. Diamond Dave goes digital!"
For the Houston show, however, Roth may need to be wary of groupies concealing subpoenas under their thongs. In March he was on the receiving end of a suit filed by local concert promoter Louis Gavrel. Gavrel says that he is owed $51,200 in unpaid fees for Roth shows he either booked or subcontracted to International Creative Management (also named in the suit), as well as $17,081 in attorney's costs.
After an uncharacteristic silence, Roth mounts a defense. "Aahh you know, I guess it's kind of a barometer where you are. You can be judged by how many people are chasing you, and lots of people are chasing us for lots of reasons. This is as common as Jackie Chan spraining his ankle."
When asked point-blank if Gavrel's allegations have any merit, Roth dismisses them as "all nonsense."
"It's a pity that so many people that have worked hard for David over the past several years are having to file claims against him," says Gavrel's Houston attorney, Robert Durbin, via e-mail. According to Gavrel, who says he's known Roth for more than 20 years, he booked the singer on a tour with Bad Company in 1999. But in lieu of payment because of what he claims were Roth's pleaded "cash-flow problems," Gavrel instead took the right to promote four additional Texas dates. When those shows didn't happen, Gavrel helped with some 2001 shows, some subcontracted to ICM. Complicating matters for Gavrel is, apparently, the lack of a formal written contract.
"Due to Louis's long-standing relationship with Mr. Roth as a friend and a promoter, telephone calls from Roth requesting Louis's help and simple writings between the two were enough to bind them," Durbin counters, adding that because Gavrel was paid by Roth for some of the shows, there was a "pretty clear mutuality of understanding" between them. Durbin says that Roth and ICM have formally responded, reiterating no intention of settlement.
Dave on Sammy: "Let's get biblical, Bob! It's a rivalry that the audience wants to be in the middle of. Rivalry brings out the best, whether it's car design or political governments!"
After the current tour is over, Roth has no plans save for promoting his video/DVD release, David Lee Roth's No-Holds Bar-B-Q. It features Roth and assorted strippers, midgets and pals dressing up in costumes and doing well, not much of anything besides running around his house and dancing to techno music to jarring camerawork and editing. But with Eddie Van Halen's recent self-proclaimed triumph over cancer, and the dormant Van Halen in need of a front man, might we see another reunion?
"I tell ya what," Roth says, answering the question for what is probably the millionth time. "I see myself you know arriving at the gate of dreams worth dying for with nothing but convictions. Religious, spiritual, musical and PRIOR!" (laughs)
"That shit is all inclusive, Bob! God bless!"