Breaking News

Don't Be a D-Bag - Come Party With Rocks Off at "Washington Shore"

Hey peckerhead, Rocks Off is pleased to announce the next evolution in fist-pumping and battling as we bring a taste of the Jersey Shore to the Washington Avenue Drinkery with our own Washington Shore" shindig Thursday, February 11 at 8 p.m. This is a free party, just like all of our sick Rock Band parties were.

Our party will feature epic pizza slices from Frank's Pizza, tanning machines, on-site hair stylists, fist-pumping competitions, a Jersey Shore character look-alike contest, and enough juicehead adrenaline to choke a townie. We nixed the Snooki punching bag, because she's a female and stuff. The fuck you looking at? Yeah, we smushed with your girlfriend.

Details are still being ironed out, so don't get your Ed Hardy boxers in a bunch or you will get smacked. Rocks Off is already hitting the gym again working on his fitness and shaving his arms in anticipation of giving the dance floor a beating you wouldn't believe. Who's your friend? She looks banging. Hold on, the duck phone is ringing...

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty