...If you either a) miss Astroworld; b) like to rock the eff out; or preferably c) both. From August 29-September 1, the former site of Six Flags Houston will be transformed into the grounds of the first-ever Rock the Bayou festival, starring many of your favorite hair-metal icons from the '70s and '80s while also prompting the deliciously existential question, "How can acts like Bret Michaels, Sammy Hagar and Yngwie Malmsteen 'reunite'?"

In any case, you can just go ahead and put those Rocklahoma tickets on eBay or Craigslist right now. Here's a partial Rock the Bayou lineup; further artists, including the second-stage performers, will presumably be announced soon.

Friday, August 29: Queensryche, Ratt, Skid Row, Lynch Mob, Gilby Clarke, Y&T

Saturday, August 30: Sammy Hagar, Dokken, Great White, Enuff Z'nuff, Bullet Boys (w/Steven Adler), Britney Fox, Little Caesar

Sunday, August 31: Alice Cooper, Warrant, Yngwie Malmsteen, Slaughter, Dangerous Toys, Lillian Axe, Pretty Boy Floyd, Black N Blue

Monday, September 1: Bret Michaels, Twisted Sister, Firehouse, Broken Teeth

Tickets, $99 for a four-day pass, are on sale now. Active U.S. military personnel get in half price with a valid ID. See www.rockthebayou.com for further information.

Because I care, I compiled several Rock the Bayou videos after the jump. Rock on! - Chris Gray

Skid Row, "Youth Gone Wild":

Great White, "Once Bitten, Twice Shy":

Sammy Hagar, "I Can't Drive 55" (live at Farm Aid, Champaign, Illinois, September 1985):

Alice Cooper and some special guests, "School's Out"

Dangerous Toys, "Teas'n, Pleas'n (live)":

Twisted Sister, "We're Not Gonna Take It":

• Playbill