MOMENT ONE A trio of rappers, seemingly as if they walked from the crowd and up to the stage got on the mike and began to perform. One even used "pterodactyl" in a verse, which is a hallmark achievement for any fan of the late Jurassic Age. Not once, and I utterly mean not once, did they tell the crowd who they were. Some of their friends knew, but myself and about 45 others were completely clueless.

MOMENT TWO After stepping outside for my own personal intermission and a quick quote of Danny Glover's "I'm too old for this shit" Lethal Weapon line, I walked back into a guy who had been running back and forth from his car earlier in the night on stage.

Did I know him? No. Did his attire scream that I may probably need to at least get a business card or something? Maybe. Then again, I'm not the type of person to shake hands with someone whose boxers are visible from the front and, if his belt broke, I'd see everything I never wanted to see in the first place.

MOMENT THREE Cray Cray. If nothing else, Cray Cray is an entertainer, a name I thought was a joke but soon became reality. He's a promoter, from what some in the crowd told me, and had DJed earlier in the night. He MCed, and then proceeded to "perform" for 15 minutes that seemed like 45 and delivered the most chameleon-like, Sharknado-esque rap performance I've ever seen in a Houston rap venue.

There was a song called "I'm Going Ham" that sounded very similar to Fergie's "Fergalicious," without any of the shimmer and high-powered production. There was a song about "Pop Dat Pussy" and "I'm Heading to the Kappa," even though the Kappa Beach Party has been defunct for years now.

Even turning into Diet A$AP Rocky with a song about Screw and coming down with the most basic Houston rap-dictionary usage was a thing. But nothing, and I mean nothing, made the night greater than watching Cray Cray completely hijack K Camp's "Money Baby" for a song once more about "Popping Pussy," to which he slowed the song down in the middle, asked the crowd to make noise for DJ Screw (which nobody did), and then called us haters.

Somehow, he did all of this and took it in stride. You won last night Cray Cray, you won.

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