I stumbled across this MySpace profile this past weekend. It’s Ms. Robinson, the rapping math teacher. Imagine if Trina or Lil’ Kim rapped about multiplication tables instead of fellatio and diamonds, and you get the idea. She’s actually kind of abrasive about the whole learning thing. I wonder if there’s a rival rapper, who only flows about division. They could have battle raps going back and forth. “I ain’t bout that dividing shit. We all up in the times sign, bitch. You cutting things up when we out here doublin’ and quadrupling.”
I wish something existed like this when I was in fifth grade. But I don’t think Kurt Cobain would have been as catchy at helping me learn my tables. If anything, he would have just wanted me to live under a bridge and have a devastating heroin habit instead of the Flintstone chewable monkey that was crawling all over my back. Sticking up kids for vitamin money sort of put a damper on recess. – Craig Hlavaty
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