My knowledge of Japanese culture is only based on what I see in fashion magazines and the Sanrio store in the Galleria. By and large, Japanese people scare me. They seem to be extremely happy all the time and as far as I know, all the women walk around dressed like anime pin-ups and scream at regular intervals.
A group of Japanese engineers have come up with musical roads, turning your tedious drives into cinematic adventures. The concept works quite like a turntable, with your car acting as a record needle. When your vehicle drives over certain bumps in the road, a soothing melody plays.
I have half an associate’s degree from a junior college in Alvin, so I certainly have no earthly notion how this works scientifically. But the project makes me wonder how we can make this work in Houston. There are plenty roads around here that could use some tunes.
Westheimer: “White Lines (Don’t Do It),” Grandmaster Flash with Melle Mel
Do we need an explanation?
610 Loop: “Road to Nowhere,” Talking Heads
You get it? Cause it’s a loop? Eh?
Richmond: “Girls on Film,” Duran Duran
Dedicated to Dad’s credit card and Mom’s genes.
Fannin and Main Streets: “The Underdog,” Spoon
In honor of all of our underachieving sports teams, past and present. Thanks for nothing, Bucky Richardson and Art Howe.
Montrose Boulevard: “Mr. Right,” Mickey Avalon
Because irony is a dead scene.
Any Street in La Porte: “The New Pollution,” Beck
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Roll down the window in the SUV and take a big breath of the corporate-funded gas chamber. Mmmm…sulfides!
Your turn, Houston. Did I forget anything?
Requested Geggy Tah for…wow. Geggy Tah? You serious? – Craig Hlavaty