My knowledge of Japanese culture is only based on what I see in fashion magazines and the Sanrio store in the Galleria. By and large, Japanese people scare me. They seem to be extremely happy all the time and as far as I know, all the women walk around dressed like anime pin-ups and scream at regular intervals.

A group of Japanese engineers have come up with musical roads, turning your tedious drives into cinematic adventures. The concept works quite like a turntable, with your car acting as a record needle. When your vehicle drives over certain bumps in the road, a soothing melody plays.

I have half an associateโ€™s degree from a junior college in Alvin, so I certainly have no earthly notion how this works scientifically. But the project makes me wonder how we can make this work in Houston. There are plenty roads around here that could use some tunes.

Westheimer: โ€œWhite Lines (Donโ€™t Do It),โ€ Grandmaster Flash with Melle Mel

Do we need an explanation?

610 Loop: โ€œRoad to Nowhere,โ€ Talking Heads

You get it? Cause itโ€™s a loop? Eh?

Richmond: โ€œGirls on Film,โ€ Duran Duran

Dedicated to Dadโ€™s credit card and Momโ€™s genes.

Fannin and Main Streets: โ€œThe Underdog,โ€ Spoon

In honor of all of our underachieving sports teams, past and present. Thanks for nothing, Bucky Richardson and Art Howe.

Montrose Boulevard: โ€œMr. Right,โ€ Mickey Avalon

Because irony is a dead scene.

Any Street in La Porte: โ€œThe New Pollution,โ€ Beck

Roll down the window in the SUV and take a big breath of the corporate-funded gas chamber. Mmmmโ€ฆsulfides!

Your turn, Houston. Did I forget anything?

Requested Geggy Tah forโ€ฆwow. Geggy Tah? You serious? โ€“ Craig Hlavaty

https://youtube.com/watch?v=P2UUvG-XuQs%26rel%3D1

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