Yesterday was National Outrage Day, a day set outside by Rev. Al Sharpton for him and his cohorts to protest the profane lyrics in hip-hop. The day was marked with demonstrations in front of record stores, including one Soundwaves here in Houston.

“I’m here in Motown as a symbol of when music was not denigrating and was entertaining,” Sharpton said in front of Detroit’s Motown Museum.

Gee, Rev. Sharpton, I seem to remember plenty of people being offended by inane things during Motown’s heyday in the ‘60s. Like when black kids couldn’t go to school with everyone else? Or when women couldn’t hold certain professional positions? That all happened when you were running the streets of Queens, listening to “Please Mr. Postman” and greasing your pompadour.

You yourself seem to be offended by Jews, “Greek homos,” Mormons, sanity, irony, B.A. Baracus – oops, sorry, sometimes I get he and Barack Obama confused. Anyway, my point is that profanity is subjective. Hip-hop is for the youth, not James Brown’s 52-year-old ex-tour manager.

Oh yeah, and another thing: how is it almost anyone can become an activist these days? I want in on that racket. One person may be put off by one phrase more than another. For instance, when I was a child, when I would go to the refrigerator and not find any hot dogs, I would yell “shit” at the top of my fat little lungs.

There are plenty of things to be outraged at besides Fiddy and a bunch of dead dudes. Did you know that the frickin’ Zac Efron is on the cover of the new Rolling Stone, just a week after Guns ‘N’ Roses? Or that there are two shows on VH-1 trying to get Bret Michaels and Scott Baio laid? How about the fact that NOW! 25 is the best-selling record in America this week, beating out the new Prince and Tegan and Sara records, among many others?

You know, maybe a Day of Outrage isn’t such a bad idea.

My bad. – Craig Hlavaty

But if you want outrage, how about this…